Moving out of my college sorority dorm was the second indication of how I handle change. Moving in may have been the first. I vividly remember my excitement about starting as a freshman at Auburn University. I moved in with my roommate, both of us eager and apprehensive to begin rush week and pledge a sorority. Before leaving home, I made sure to leave one of necessary toiletry items at my parents’ home and was glad I did after the first week at the university. Jumping into my white Toyota Corolla at the end of rush week, I called them and said, “I’m coming home for the weekend. I made sure to leave a hairbrush and toothbrush so I don’t even need to pack those.”
That car ride home, as well as the last time I moved out of the dorm to walk down the isle and become a wife, should have told me all I need to know about my view of change. I contemplate planned for change with a piercing focus on the future. It is only after the fact that reflection and mourning of what has passed and cannot be regained sets in. The enormity of finishing college one year early to wed my husband completely escaped me until he and I moved the last box to the car and closed the door on my room for the final time. It was in that moment that I realized a major chapter was closing as an even bigger journey was beginning. The same in that my first week away at college conveyed how much I loved and missed home even as I was excited about the transition to university life… to becoming an adult.
Sixteen years have passed since Ron and I said I do and moved to his hometown in Florida (though he is originally from New Jersey). Living in the same villa for sixteen years has meant welcoming four children, two biological, two birthed from the heart (in addition to much paperwork and waiting), plus one foster son into our home. We have been through the newlywed, newly parent, and nearly joining the ranks of the middle aged in this house. Countless tears and joys have been lived out as well as multiple ministry gatherings. I’ve collected an inordinate amount of books that would easily fill a one-horse-town library. We’ve home educated our children from preschool within these walls and read countless number of books together. We’ve built a life here, and now, our family has outgrown this space.
In preparing to move, it has been interesting to study the reactions of our children. Many times they will tell us they don’t want to move a mere ten minutes away, while in the next breath they are talking excitedly about plans for our new space. I try to console them when necessary and encourage all the positives that our move will bring. One evening, in so doing, I was telling my husband that it won’t be until the final box is packed away and the U-haul filled that we will shut the doors for the last time on 4038 and say good bye to this space that has brought us one blessing after another from the Lord, and one sustaining word from God after another in this home. In telling him I teared up and became emotional…I’m getting emotional now just typing it. And yet, I am so excited about our next step.
That same evening I told the children about my emotions experienced as I thought about the final closing of the door on 4038 and in in so doing it reminded me of a spiritual truth. With every tearful goodbye to temporary dwelling places, it is a strengthening reminder that we are not home yet. Our eternal home is the home we are living for, and all the moves along the journey are memorial stones on the pathway there. We are meant for Heaven as our home by the gloriously good news of the gospel of Jesus Christ. Praise His Name.
I’ve walked down memory lane with you in the hopes that you too will do some introspection and see how you view and cope with planned change. It is enlightening to know this about ourselves and help us to see the weaknesses and strengths our particular perspectives bring, and in helping us to be sympathetic and empathetic with those we love.
One final thought before you go. In our home, we share books akin to how we share bread– daily. Our last chapter book we will read with the Bigs as we refer to our older two children is, The Bronze Bow
How do you process change? What is your best moving advice? Share below in the comments.
You can now purchase my book, Thirty Balloons: An Adoption Tale, on Amazon.
