This Temporary Home

Looking Back Over A Decade

18 May

Today we remember our covenant we made 10 years ago. The merging of two lives spiritually and emotionally did not happen overnight, but rather transpired as we stayed the course and trusted God. This life provides the only opportunity to experience a relationship of husband and wife. I too often neglect this truth. In this temporary home, Ron Cooney is my best friend and lover. Over the last 10 years we have grown together and matured.

In celebration, I believe some reflection is in order. Here are 10 lessons that we have learned together the past decade:

1. Faithfulness is a choice we make that blesses our own lives and the lives of all we touch.

Many a man proclaims his own steadfast love, but a faithful man who can find?~Proverbs 20:6

Ron quoted this verse to me just before he said “I love you” for the first time. He desired to be a faithful man. He was so well thought out. I, conversely, had not experienced the unfaithfulness of man to a large degree and quickly, though not entirely thoughtlessly, quipped back, “I love you too.”

Now 10 years later I have experienced the aftermath unfaithfulness leaves. I have seen the destruction that broken covenants inevitably produce and I am all the more aware of the gift that Ron continues to give me.

2. Patience is love waiting.

An inheritance gained hastily in the beginning will not be blessed in the end. ~Proverbs 20:21

Waiting to consummate the marriage on the marriage night and not rushing in the development of our relationship were both aspects that we desired in dating. Ron presented this verse to me, and in true Ron style practiced patience with us, with me, and in the progression of our lives from the start.

3. Purity in singleness prepares us for purity in marriage. Likewise, weaknesses in singleness carryover to our marriage.

To keep the marriage bed pure is not only a task of a single but an ongoing work of the married .With the rings is made a promise, with determination a commitment is kept. A good marriage takes work. Otherwise, we produce a relationship that is hardly working.

4. Perfection is a lie and a snare. “Be holy as I am holy.” Not, “Be perfect as I am perfect.”

You never arrive at the perfect marriage because it is a life-long marathon – not a sprint. We are imperfect people in need of purification by Christ which leads to holiness.

As with everything practice makes… almost perfect. Seek a holy relationship not a perfect one.

5. Differences can enliven or divide.

For example… ideals on money, child raising, and the use of our time and talents. It is hard but necessary to communicate our ideas to one another and arrive at a point of mutual agreement and practice.

6. Think before you speak, but speak before you fall apart.

If you think it and expect it, then project it. No man is a mind reader. We must convey our desires to avoid disappointment and conflict.

7. Marriage succeeds as a triune relationship.

It takes man and wife with God at the head to produce a healthy marriage.

Again, if two lie together, they keep warm, but how can one keep warm alone? And though a man might prevail against one who is alone, two will withstand him—a threefold cord is not quickly broken. ~ Ecclesiastes 4:11-12

8. Keep it fun!

Continue to be playful and flirt with your mate! Try new things and continue to grow together.

9. Keep learning

… about your mate, marriage, and God via prayer, the Bible, and godly counsel.

10. Work as a team… know who to fight against.

For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places. ~Ephesians 6:12

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Filed Under: Family, Holiday, Life, My Story Tagged With: husband and wife, marriage, relationships

3 Literaray Life Lessons for Your Preschooler

16 May

If you are new to What I Am Reading Wednesday’s then welcome! Each Wednesday I highlight one or a few books that are being read in our home. This week we will take a look at the children’s bookshelf.

When reading to a child of any age it is important to reflect on what can be learned and applied in real life from the text. For young children, this task should be prompted and directed by the parents. I hope you will find these three selections entertaining tales to assist you as your train your child in the way he should go. After each book I have listed some comprehension questions because the speech-language pathologist in me simply cannot resist!

“I don’t like onions.” “I don’t like beans.” “I don’t like meatloaf.” If your children share these sentiments then D.W. The Picky Eater provides a wonderful platform for your child to sample new foods. Perhaps you could choose a dish that is new to you as well. Shouldn’t all be fair in cuisine?

How did D.W. avoid trying new foods or eating foods she disliked?
What was the consequence of D.W.’s tantrum in the restaurant?
What did D.W. eat at home while her family went out for dinner?
What new food did D.W. try at the restaurant? How did she like it?
Do you think D.W. will try more new foods in the future? Will you? Why or why not?

The transition from preschooler to kindergartner involves many changes including the laying down of what Emily and Joshua affectionately refer to as “lovies.” Owen desperately wants to keep his “fuzzy” but his all-knowing neighbor is quite happy providing multiple suggestions to dispose of his comforting blanket. This delightful story is a great example for your preschooler that he is not alone in laying down some habits as he grows.

How did Owen keep the “Blanket Fairy” from taking his fuzzy?
Who was Owen’s neighbor?
How did Owen feel about his fuzzy?
How did Owen’s mom disguise his fuzzy so that he could keep it in kindergarten?
How did you feel when you gave up your “fuzzy”?

I meant what I said and I said what I meant an elephant’s faithful one-hundred percent!~Horton, Horton Hatches the Egg

Let what you say be simply ‘Yes’ or “No’; anything more than this comes from evil. ~Matthew 5:37

Honesty and integrity are character traits that all good parents hope to instill in their children. Horton Hatches the Egg is a wonderful tale that introduces these traits as well as parallels them with lazy Mayzie in this classic Dr. Seuss book.

Why didn’t Mayzie want to stay on her egg in her nest?
What was the weather like while Horton sat on the nest?
How did the animals and hunters act when they saw Horton the elephant sitting on a nest?
Would you rather have a friend like Horton or Mayzie? Why? What kind of friend would you like to be?

Thank you for stopping in for a visit! What are you reading this week?

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Filed Under: What I Am Reading Wednesday Tagged With: children's literature, reading comprehension

A Bittersweet Mother’s Day

14 May

This Mother’s Day was bittersweet. Last week brought much heartache to family and friends through the loss of two beautiful women. One a grandmother the other a young mother. As my heart aches for the families grieving I pray for answers to questions and new challenges that these womens’ absence brings.

The pain of death is surely felt by the undeparted.

On Sunday, I was reminded that God is a parent that outlived His son. God the Father did not spare His own son, but gave Jesus as a sacrifice for our sins. We cannot rush through this fact: God. sent. His. son. to. die.

As a result of Jesus rising from the dead He is restored to not only the Father, but to all mankind as well. Further, those who place their faith in the cleansing blood of Christ Jesus will be reunited with family and friends in heaven who are of the same conviction and belief.

Bible verses preached at the grieving absent the Holy Spirit seem dull and lifeless. However, with the Holy Spirit, God’s living word soothes our anxious grief-stricken souls. If even moment by moment. God’s well of mercy has not run dry nor shall it til Christ returns. He promises He will comfort us; both parent and child.

When a child dies before his or her parent, or when a child looses their parent, the Trinity is familiar with this pain and will give us all that is needed to walk through our tragedy and loss (Romans 8:32). If Mother’s Day was a day of grief for you this year due to the loss of a mother or child I pray God’s peace and blessing on your soul. May the God of all comfort comfort you in your time of need (2 Corinthians 1:3-5). Those who mourn shall indeed be comforted (Matthew 5:4) both in this life and in eternity. Harder days may lie ahead but you never walk alone.

Home is indeed a place called heaven. Perhaps you are more anxious to arrive now that you know more familiar faces await you…He has already wiped away your loved one’s tears.

Photo by my friend Hannah F.

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Filed Under: Contemplation, Life Tagged With: grieving the loss of a child, grieving the loss of a mother, Mother's Day

Celebrations

11 May

There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens: a time to be born and a time to die, a time to plant and a time to uproot, a time to kill and a time to heal, a time to tear down and a time to build, a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance, a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them, a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing, a time to search and a time to give up, a time to keep and a time to throw away, a time to tear and a time to mend, a time to be silent and a time to speak, a time to love and a time to hate, a time for war and a time for peace. Ecclesiastes 3:1-8

New life comes in many forms. On March 26, 2012 we welcomed our newest addition to the family, my niece, Anna Bell B. Seven pounds and ten ounces of joy stretched 21 inches long will forever change us for the better.

Emily has cried, “I miss Anna Bell” for two months. Now she holds her precious cousin in her arms while helping feed her bottles of milk.

This week amidst our travels we have celebrated new life and the last two years with Brooks. We gathered with extended family to mourn the passing and celebrate the life of a beloved cousin.

There is a time and a place for everything under the sun. This week was a time to laugh and a time to weep, a time to embrace and a time to love.

May you make memories in celebration this weekend and live for the home that will outlive the present.

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Filed Under: Family, Life Tagged With: celebrations, family

Hunger Games

9 May

“How many of you have read The Hunger Games?” About 20% of over 100 middle school students in our ministry raise their hand. Ron questions further, “How many of you have seen the movie?” Ninety percent or more of the students raise their hand.

At this point I am so glad that I purchased the book at Wal-Mart. What movement or story could engross a generation like the Hunger Games appears to?

A very well written story packed with action, romance, and a girl on fire. That is the story that has captured the attention of our young people and adults both men and women alike.

Once I read chapter five in the first book in the Hunger Games series I was hooked. I completed all three books in roughly six days and have contemplated the story line for a few weeks more.

image via Google images

Written by Suzanne Collins and targeted for young adults ages 12 and up, the topics covered in the books range from youth murder in a survival of the fittest scenario, politics/government rule, death, suicide, reality television, and the list goes on.

I originally read the first book, Hunger Games, to be culturally relevant. However, the second and third books: Catching Fire and Mockingjay were read due to absolute takeover of my psyche. I was both unable and unwilling to put these books down. When I did return to everyday tasks, my thoughts continued to return to the country and events of Panema.

Here is a link to a video interview conducted after the release of the first book, The Hunger Games, by Scholastic Books. Especially intriguing was the origination of the idea for the plot of the book. Scholastic Books 2008 interview with Suzanne Collins bestselling author of the Hunger Games Triliogy

Additionally, in the case that you are the parent of a middle school student or a young adult reader yourself, I am listing 8 discussion questions that I hope you will utilize to critically digest this well written series through the lens of a Christian worldview. A special thanks to Ron for his co-collaboration on these questions.

Oh, by the way, go team Peeta!

1. Why are we attracted to the make-believe?

2. What’s our fascination with watching people die through the centuries? (E.g. Gladiators in the Roman Empire.)

3. Is entertainment one of the things that blind us from our life’s purposes? Further, is entertainment one of Satan’s most effective tools to distract us? Is the most effective tool Satan has in his arsenal against Christians today – a distraction?

4. In the book and movie, Peeta says, “I don’t want them to change me in there. Turn me into something that I’m not. I’m sure I’ll kill just like everyone else…only I keep wishing I could think of a way to…to show the Capitol they don’t own me, that I’m more than just a piece in their Games. If I’m going to die, I want to still be me.” Are we guilty of allowing our culture to change us? If so, in what ways has it changed you? For good or for ill?

5. What happens when the law of the land contradicts the Bible? See Romans 13:1-7, Luke 20:25, and Acts 5:27-29.

6. No religion or belief in any higher being is mentioned in either the books or movie. Why do you think this is? Which worldview says that man is the ultimate being?

7. Choose one or two characters and list character strengths and weaknesses. What would you like to emulate in your own life that lines up with Biblical practices? What characteristics of even your favorite characters were flawed?

8. Throughout each book, Katniss is treated by a prep team which makes her look her best. In the first book Katniss is to the point where she does not mind her stylist seeing her naked body. Conversely, she does not feel comfortable seeing Peeta’s body when she is treating his wounds during the games. What is your modesty level? How has the media and what you set before your eyes on a television screen and in places you visit affected the way you approach varying levels of modesty or the lack thereof? What does the Bible have to say about purity and the clothes we wear?

If you have read or seen the Hunger Games, what was your take away and overall impression?

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Filed Under: Contemplation, What I Am Reading Wednesday Tagged With: book club questions, book review, Hunger Games, reading, Young Adult Fiction

10 Reasons Why I Like Being a One-Car Family

6 May

Added family time– The four of us rarely enjoyed family time in the car prior to becoming a one-car family a year ago following our devastating car accident which you can read about here. Being a (youth) pastor’s wife means Sunday is not family day, but a work day. It took some major adjusting on this mama’s part to remember that getting our children to church was my mission as a helpmate to Ron and his vocation. Now that we are a one-car family I continue to be a pseudo single mom on Sunday and Wednesday, but after church we return to our family of four status as we now enjoy riding home together most Sunday’s.During the week the kids and I enjoy taking Ron to work even though this means everyone is ready for the day a little earlier than we might be if this responsibility was omitted. Together time in the car allows us to confer about scheduling, work out any early morning spats, or just enjoy our coffee and kids together for a few more minutes.
No payments– We have enjoyed payment free cars for several years prior to our accident and had even entertained the idea of converting to a single car. After totaling my Rendezvous and purchasing the Trailblazer, Ron decided that he would sell his truck to pay the difference for the new purchase and therefore leave us with no payment. This is one of the examples of servant leadership that I so admire about my husband and saw modeled in my dad prior to marriage. Dad drove an old Chevrolet pickup for years so that mom, my sister, and I could ride in a newer reliable mode of transportation.
Less maintenance– With only one car we have one to maintain including tires, oil-changes, and, as our luck has gone this year, minor fender-benders (one where an ambulance backed into us at a red light and another where a pickup truck busted my back taillight).
The clean factor– Ron has the car on certain days of the week and I know this means he will more than likely being transporting coworkers at lunch. Therefore, I try my best to have the car clear of trash and most toys. This means we start our days with a clean car.
Shared bedtime duties– As I mentioned earlier, on church days in the past I would arrive home before Ron and have the added responsibility of lunch or dinner preparation plus bedtime routines for both kids. Now since we arrive home together my work load on those days has been reduced by half. What a blessing!
Community-With only one car this makes for carpooling with friends on a regular basis for Ron and occasionally for me. Anytime we spend with others develops relationships and furthers the bonds of community. It is both humbling and encouraging to find that so many are willing to extend a helping hand to us. In fact, this week as I visit my family with the kids, a generous friend has loaned his second car to Ron for two weeks. We are so thankful for this act of brotherly love.
Rising to a challenge-I have to admit contemplating the transition from one car to two and actually doing it are two different things. The reality is that an accident kindly forced our hand. While some have jested, “Why don’t you just buy another car?” We have found that though planning is required the truth is that one car makes life a bit simpler than two. We can actually do without the “more” we believe we require. Thankfully, rising to this challenge has required planning not pains.
Added margin– Owning one car requires that we simply stay at home more. We find that there are certain days that play dates and outings can occur. This is good for me because otherwise the laundry would be neglected all the more and the toys we have at home would be played with all the less.
A steady rhythm to our days – I love Jamie Martin of Steady Mom. She wrote the wonderful book Steady Days that speaks of having a rhythm to the schedule of our days. Being a one-car family has definitely enforced a rhythm into the dynamics of our life.
At least one bicycle is used– Yes, this last point may be pathetic, but it is true. If Ron were not forced to ride his bicycle to work on Sunday’s it most likely would sit next to mine rusting in the sunshine. However, I am going to lean into the curves and bike our county’s trail if it is one of the only things I do in the next two months!

What about you? Do you think you could share the car with your spouse for a day or two? Maybe even a week? If you do, let me know your experience. Perhaps you too would find that the benefits outweigh the inconveniences.

Shotgun!

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Filed Under: Family, Life, My Story, When You're a Wreck Tagged With: blessings, community, life

A Get Away

23 Apr

I am taking advantage of a break from blogging. Carving time apart from the virtual world for a week by “flying” away to recharge, regroup, and rediscover life apart from a computer screen.

Perhaps you, like me, will cozy up with a good book, take time for a walk in God’s creation, or spend more time in meaningful conversation with the ones you love?

Wherever your journey takes you in the next week or two, may you travel closer to the heart of God, grow in communion with Him, and in community with those around you.

I look forward to seeing you soon!

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Filed Under: Life Tagged With: rest, travel

Our Garden State Adventure Part 2

20 Apr

First, I am unsure which is the greater task, seeing as much as possible of New York City in one day with two preschoolers or blogging about it in one post. Regardless, prior to landing in the Newark airport, this 1994 Pace Picante Sauce commercial is as close as I came to New York City.

Not anymore. Chinatown, Little Italy, Broadway, and Central Park were all on the list as we spent a day traveling New York City with Ron’s godmother, “Momo” and her husband, Sal.

We were treated to the downtown loop of our Gray Line New York double-decker tour. Travel to and from the city on public transportation was the children’s most memorable part. Riding public transportation packed with commuters and complete with a slow drive through the Lincoln Tunnel was our kids idea of a good time in the city. What was not Momo’s idea of a good time was Ron and Emily’s failure to exit the bus when we did. Needless to say, this native New Jersey lady was needing a large cup of coffee when we met Ron and Emily a few floors down in the bus terminal.

Off to a memorable start don’t you think? Look at the worry in Momo’s face. Then note the sympathy in Ron and Sal’s. We all had a good laugh…everyone but Momo that is.

Next we had the pleasure of watching Sal heckle the bus personnel of the New York bus tours to get what he considered a reasonable price. Ron and I snapped pictures and recorded the comical exchange like the “country” folk we felt we were. I will not incriminate Sal by posting the video here. Needless to say, we were pleasantly entertained.

You can see the gentleman in the red jacket followed by Sal and Momo as he convinced Sal to follow him to the bus stop to purchase the tickets. Cue Picante’s “New York City?”

Now for the shots of a few of our favorite spots. We primarily enjoyed the outward view of the buildings. The vast beauty and variety of the architecture in the city was my favorite part. Manhattan is rich with history and art. To experience it all within one day was a fast paced dream come true.

First up…the Empire State Building.

Followed by a quick visit inside Macy’s for some Starbucks and people watching. My personal favorite were the men turning over every price tag in the handbag section as they trailed their wives.

We traveled in the bus top for a few blocks and I was smitten with this store, but did not request to stop. Can you say NERD?

We accidentally missed the exit for China Town so we proceeded to the site of Ground Zero and the new Freedom Tower. Freedom Tower reached its 100th floor during our visit. On the way we passed one of my favorite buildings, the Flatiron building. It is built in the form of a triangle and so named for its resemblance to a cast-iron clothes iron.

Much to Momo’s dismay, we turned around and walked the 10 blocks back to China Town as the bus only travels one direction in the loop. On the way we stopped and viewed the outside graveyard and architecture of one of the oldest buildings in Manhattan, St. Paul’s Chapel.

Next stop. China Town! Joshy’s most memorable portion aside from the city bus ride. He called out the next day as we were driving through New Jersey, “Look mom, China Town!” I am not sure what he saw, but it reminded him of China Town.

Sal persistently pestered Momo by attempting to cheaply purchase a Rolex in China Town. One such attempt ended in a standoff for my camera. I was filming Sal’s transaction when the store clerk quickly informed me that no photography was allowed. To which Sal whispered, “She works for Immigration.” As the gentleman’s temper grew, I deleted the portion of video in-front of him. No, even that would not suffice. He came toward me and said, “I know how you people work!” To which Momo quickly told me to get out of there.

Sal, Sal, Sal, I cannot believe you would try to get me into trouble all for a Rolex. Immigration!

It was time for lunch in Little Italy.

We ended our tour at Battery Park, Central Park, and the final stop before loading the bus home…the M&M store.

This stood in the entry of one of the World Trade Tower’s and now is a monument in Battery Park.

The view of Lady Liberty from Battery Park.

Our 20 minute tour of Central Park. My desire is to one day return to the city and spend an entire day in Central Park.

Two 2 pound bags full of M&M’s, not to mention, $34.00 later, and we were purchasing a bus ticket back to Elizabeth.

The following day we visited Liberty Science Center and Liberty State Park were we viewed this final shot of the city.

Thank you Momo and Sal for this wonderful adventure!

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Filed Under: Family, Life Tagged With: New York City, travel

Please Call Me Laura

18 Apr

It has happened. Emily is asking for a bonnet and has discussed calling me “Ma.” Today the ultimate in Little House fever, “Please call me Laura.”

I thought author, Wendy McLure, in The Wilder Life: My Adventures in the Lost World of Little House on the Prairie may have overstated her love of all things Laura. However, after listening to my little girl pine to be Laura’s friend I understood the praises of Ms. McLure’s work. Full disclosure, I returned her book to the library unread as 12 other books by Laura Ingalls Wilder presently grace my shelves…or should I say tables; I ran out of shelf space long ago.

Here is a sampling of Laura’s titles that I would recommend for those wanting to further their acquaintance with Mrs. Wilder:

Thank you Mrs. Wilder for gracing What I Am Reading Wednesday the last few weeks. It has been a pleasure to rediscover why your books richly enhanced my own childhood.

On other shelves…

I finished up Kiss Me Like You Mean It: Solomon’s Crazy in Love How-To Manual by Dr. David Clarke and highly recommend this quick and easy read to all married couples looking to fan the flame of their first love. If only for the kissing boost alone. I think Ron would recommend this book as well and he has yet to read it. 😉

Last night I downloaded two ebooks that are free for a short time.

After reading two chapters I foresee this as a wise read for those who are already 30+ and most assuredly for the 18 and over crowd. If you are in the 30 to 40 range perhaps you would considerHow to Ruin Your Life By 40 as a better alternative.

The InCourage ladies, Angie and Jessica, completed a videoed book club on The Fitting Room with the author, Kelly Minter, which you can view here. I am confident this resource will be a welcome accompaniment to your individual reading.

That is what I am reading this Wednesday. What about you?

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Filed Under: What I Am Reading Wednesday Tagged With: book recommendations, reading

Our Garden State Adventure Part I

16 Apr

Perhaps you live in the same town in which you were born. Likely, you do not. Ron was born in Elizabeth, New Jersey, earning him the name “Florida-Yankee” from my father. A few weeks ago, we had the privilege of traveling to Ron’s hometown where we listened to snippets of past events that shaped my husband into the man he is today.

Hearing Ron describe the way things were I sensed a chapter in his childhood unfolding before me and a glimpse into the boyhood of my man.

Driving through town we came to the schoolyard of Ron’s earliest childhood education. The children and I kept pace with him as he talked of a flag that his father had donated to the school, his school day routines, and one incident in particular:

Little Ronnie’s mom came to pick him up after school. Not noticing the paper he proudly held bearing an A, his mom became quickly mortified to find that he had spent the day with his shoes on the wrong feet. As promptly as dismissal, his mother spared no time in correcting the blunder. As soon as he and his brother were piled into the family’s red Pinto, poor Ronnie changed his shoes returning them to the proper places.