The False Summits of Adoption

11 Nov

187

In hiking, a false summit is the portion of the mountain that appears to be the highest point; however, upon reaching it, a mountaineer sees that the summit is higher. Unless prepared for such false summits, the effect on a hiker’s psychological state can be damaging.  So much so, that the she may give up and begin a disappointing descent.

In the summer of 2015, our then family of four hiked the majestic Manitou Incline in Manitou Springs Colorado. It was the most difficult hike to date that we have hiked as a family, and it has proven to provide so many parallels to obstacles we have faced in our adoption journey. The two-thousand feet gain in elevation over a mile at the front end of the hike was almost paralyzing to my psyche. I wasn’t sure we could complete this hike with success, but we ventured forth anyway. The people along the journey were so encouraging. They couldn’t believe that our five and seven year old children were attempting such a hike.

The real kicker came as we were approaching what seemed the top of the incline. Another hiker told us, its a false summit. The top is still a ways up. What? There was more? We had already had to make accommodations for one child to poop while on the trail (that was a first and only so far!) and our other child started off battling a bit of an asthmatic episode and had to be carried for part of the initial portion of the hike. A false summit! Okay, time for a snack and to regroup and prepare ourselves for the remainder of the journey to the summit.

In order to complete this hike we were on all fours, lifting children, encouraging children, and taking multiple breaks. The good news is… we made it! The victory welcome at the top from the other hikers is something our children will never forget; and I am almost positive, some of our fellow hikers will not forget either. In particular one man named Don.

Our adoption journey which we had temporarily laid down for nearly two years was reinitiated after we returned from that family vacation. That summer multiple videos were released which exposed Planned Parenthood for selling the body parts of aborted babies and killing them in such a way as to gain the most profit from their organs. These videos were the tipping point for us to take another step towards adoption. We had fostered for 13 months in the hopes that we would foster to adopt. However, our hearts were so wounded  and raw after the reunification of our foster son, that we knew a time of refreshing and regrouping as a family was necessary. As we all know, the Lord will not let us rest forever. That summer He was calling us back to the work of adoption and orphan care.

In July of 2015 we decided not to recertify as foster parents but to ask that we go straight into the adoption process. In short, much misinformation was communicated to us which has further complicated our adoption journey there on out. However, in September of 2015, through the fostering of a baby by friends of ours, we met a beautiful blonde-headed, blue-eyed boy that we are now in the final stages of adopting. For ten months we daily made multiple phone calls, sent numerous emails, and advocated on behalf of the best interest of this child before he was placed in our home as a pre-adoptive placement in July of 2016.

You may rush by that last sentence; but for us, the living out of those ten months was long and arduous.

With high hopes that the adoption would be finalized in October of this year (2016), we awaited the go ahead from the attorney to schedule the court date. We inched closer to the anticipated court date only to discover that our son was not yet free and clear for adoption, but that a paperwork error had occurred and we were essentially back to a holding period.

Was this a false summit, or merely a strenuous portion of our hike?

With that knowledge in mind, I boarded a plane in late September and went hiking for two days in breathtaking Washington State with a dear friend. No false summits in sight on our hikes, and so far, none our adoption journey.

img_2233

 

img_2236

 

img_2325

img_2263

 

Until…

Two days after my return home, we were told that our adoptive son’s mother was pregnant and would give birth to his sibling within a month.

False summit identified.

Stunned, is probably a good word for our reaction to this news. Overjoyed, is the word for our children’s response! Little had we known that Emily, our oldest daughter had been fervently praying for a baby sister. Now, she saw that her dream was within reach.

So today, we find our family expanding–at least at present, and Lord willing forever- to a family of six. Emily was right, the baby is a girl. So as we ascend this (what we perceive to be) the final portion of the adoption summit, let our story be one that encourages and informs you. Few adoptions are expedient, and none are without loss and pain. False summits happen all the time in hiking and perhaps with more frequency in life.

We are looking forward to that mountain-top view. The summit shall surely be worth it. We anticipate sharing in the joy and telling the God moments. To God be the glory!

signature

 

Share This Post With Your Friends!
Filed Under: Family, Life, Missions, My Story, Walking in the Spirit Tagged With: , , , ,

Walking By Faith: Responding to the No and the Yes of Jesus

15 Feb

IMG_0913

Therefore the LORD waits to be gracious to you, and therefore he exalts himself to show mercy to you. For the LORD is a God of justice; blessed are all those who wait for him. And your ears shall hear a word behind you, saying, “This is the way, walk in it,” when you turn to the right or to the left. (Isaiah 30:18,21, ESV)

A few weeks ago, I was strolling alongside a newly-walking one-year-old. He had tired of simply watching the gymnastics lesson and wanted to try out some moves of his own. Instead of letting him onto the gym floor with my kids in class as he first attempted, I took him outside to walk on the sidewalk. I wanted to hold his hand to protect him from falling and getting yet another bump on his face. He’s gained the nickname “Bruiser” because of all his recent spills.

Needless to say, newly walking one-year-olds think they have the whole walking bit down. He didn’t want to hold my hand this time. He hadn’t asked for assistance, but rather, he had a taste for freedom.

As I grasped his hand and wouldn’t let go, I considered that all he was hearing was, no, no. 

No, don’t pull away from me.

Continue reading at iBelieve.

signature

 

Share This Post With Your Friends!
Filed Under: Contemplation, Discipline, Life, My Story, Walking in the Spirit Tagged With: ,

The Big Ask: Are You Pregnant?

9 Oct

When Someone Asks If You're Pregnant and the Answer is No

The above picture is a current one of me, NOT PREGNANT. Have you ever been asked if you were pregnant when, clearly, you were not? Me too! Travel over to iBelieve today to see how to respond to this question with grace and truth. Because, let’s face it, the big ask stinks if the answer is a big no.

Read more here.

signature

 

 

Share This Post With Your Friends!
Filed Under: Faith, Family, My Story Tagged With: , , ,

$1.00 Texting Challenge

11 Sep

$1 Texting Challenge

Texting. Most of us text anywhere from several messages a day to, at minimum, a few a week. I am completely guilty of checking social media on my phone, reading articles, emailing, and texting while “stopped at red lights.” Often this is the case for when I am driving alone, or sadly, all too often when I am transporting my kids.

As of September 10, 2015, I will no longer be able to text or check my phone in the car without a fine. Why the abrupt and decisive change of mind? Please watch this video and you will see. (Click here if viewing in a reader.)

A video similar to this one produced by AT&T got my attention late one evening this week. It was a tipping point for me.

As of yesterday, my children, my husband, and frankly anyone riding with me, can charge me a dollar if they catch me using my phone while I am driving. Long live the passenger’s seat! The only exceptions are using my phone as a GPS or answering a phone call. Truthfully, even then I am going to be very selective as to answering phone calls.

Four years ago, I totaled my car while driving with my then one-year-old son and three-year-old daughter. A complete accident for which my family is eternally grateful that God saw us through safely. Thankfully, I was not using my phone at the time of the accident. I know what it is to be a wreck and I know that I don’t want any negligence on my part to ever endanger our children or anyone else trusting me with their life while I am behind the wheel.

Accidents will happen. However, there are many accidents that can be prevented.

Another reason that I believe this to be a necessary stance for myself is the witness factor to my children. I want to set the standard for what my elementary age children will be held to when they learn to drive. When it comes to the overuse of our phones, parents have the ultimate standards of hypocrisy. We don’t want our children on their devices, or ours, all of the time, and yet, we too find it difficult to put down the cell phone or tablet and live in real time. (Side note: I think that is one reason why I like books so much. My kids don’t have to guess if I am reading a book or the Bible when they see me holding onto a real book. I read enough articles on line and eBooks that I feel I have to explain that “mommy is reading” quite a bit.) Going hands free in the car will be an example that the kids can return to when they are held to that standard in the future.

So what about you? Will you take the $1 texting challenge for your car rides? My kids can’t wait to catch me texting. Little do they know my iron will isn’t going to budge!

Maybe you are single and don’t have children, or maybe you are an empty-nester. That’s okay! You can purpose your own tangible loss to forgo if you break your commitment to drive hands free.

Put the phone down and enjoy the ride!

If a man vows a vow to the LORD, or swears an oath to bind himself by a pledge, he shall not break his word. He shall do according to all that proceeds out of his mouth. ~Numbers 30:2

signature

Share This Post With Your Friends!
Filed Under: Discipline, My Story, When You're a Wreck Tagged With: , ,

What Your Pastor and His Wife Aren’t Telling You

10 Jul

Door

Perhaps you are familiar with Ruth Graham’s book, In Every Pew Sits a Broken Heart. You may be quick to nod in affirmation thinking, I have often worshiped with a broken heart among a congregation and friends who are unaware of my hurts and circumstances, for one reason or another. However, it may surprise you to realize the broken or discouraged heart of a brother or sister may be your pastor or his wife.

My husband has served in ministry prior to and all throughout our dating and married years. For the last fifteen years, we have served together in a handful of churches under differing roles and responsibilities. We have enjoyed sweet times serving with fellow staff and lay leaders and the visible fruit of changed lives. Other times, we have served alongside those who, it seemed, viewed us as the enemy or a stumbling block to the way they envisioned ministry should be carried out.

We encountered a situation like that in one of the first churches we served in. The most active couple in the youth ministry was also the most vocal couple in opposition to the direction my husband was taking the students. It seemed no matter what he did, this couple wasn’t pleased and wanted to let everyone know. Months after we left that church, the husband became the youth pastor. It is hard to please someone who wants your job and thinks they can do it better.

Please come read Five Things Your Pastor Wants You to Know But Might Never Tell You over here. Thanks for reading and let me know what you think.

signature

Share This Post With Your Friends!
Filed Under: Faith, My Story Tagged With: , ,

Homeland: A Christmas Series

8 Dec

Homeland Part 1

When I was young in the mountains, I never wanted to go to the ocean, and I never wanted to go to the desert. I never wanted to go anywhere else in the world, for I was in the mountains. And that was always enough. (Cynthia Rylant, When I Was Young in the Mountains)

I have spoken to several men and women whom desire to live in a different place than where they are. Admittedly, several times in a given week or month, I am one of them. I often love the place I live and other moments I desire a grand adventure far, far away. This phenomena has prompted me to contemplate whether this is a perspective shared by historical accounts of men and women documented in the Bible. So far my search has turned up empty.

I believe the desire for novelty and adventure are good, and God-given, but I also wrestle with the reality that it can be a sign of ingratitude, discontent, and a blinding of my eyes to the mission God has given in the present, to the gifts of here and now. This Christmas God has guided my thoughts on the matter to the account of the shepherds and the wise men.

There are two groups of men that were called to worship and witness the Christ-child: the shepherds and the wise men. The shepherds traveled walking distance to witness the new born King of Kings. These men, by vocation, were homebodies often sleeping among the sheep they guarded and never going far from their flock.

And when they saw it, they made known the saying that had been told them concerning this child. And all who heard it wondered at what the shepherds told them.  (Luke 2:17-18, ESV)

Conversely, the wise men traveled up to two years to witness the Messiah. Their journey started when they saw the star rise and set out to worship him.

When they saw the star, they rejoiced exceedingly with great joy.  And going into the house they saw the child with Mary his mother, and they fell down and worshiped him. Then, opening their treasure, they offered him gifts, gold and frankincense and myrrh. (Matthew 2:10-11, ESV)

In considering the missions of both these two vastly different groups of men, a few similarities stand out:

  • Their mission was to find the Christ and worship Him.
  • They were given a sign to know that they had found the Messiah.
  • They obeyed their assignment.
  • Their response was worship and joy.

Whether shepherd or wise man, pauper or prince, native or foreigner, those that are in Christ Jesus are each traveling to the same homeland. They are each integral parts to the story of the world, redemption, and the promised restoration of God’s creation. We each work in our areas of influence so that it too can be said of us as the cloud of witnesses in Hebrews 11:

For people who speak thus make it clear that they are seeking a homeland. If they had been thinking of that land from which they had gone out, they would have had opportunity to return. But as it is, they desire a better country, that is, a heavenly one. Therefore God is not ashamed to be called their God, for he has prepared for them a city. (Hebrews 11:14-16, ESV, emphasis mine)

Shepherds heeded the heralding angels and the wise men followed the star; we are all called to follow the King. Each of us as part of the story should look to our homeland and work toward that same end. Let us find something in our surroundings today to be grateful for and to recognize the hand of God in our adventures near or far.

Have you encountered any men or women in the Bible who desired a grand adventure away from the place they were living? I would love to hear your answers if so. You can leave a comment below or e-mail me at Brooke.Cooney.1@gmail.com.

signature

Share This Post With Your Friends!
Filed Under: Contemplation, Holiday, Life, My Story Tagged With: , , , , ,

A Letter to My Younger Self on Adoption

17 Nov

John 1224

I know you will remember a time in your childhood when you wondered if you were adopted. Never mind that you look like your parents and laugh at your own jokes exactly like they both do; but, just the same, you will wonder if you were adopted and never told. You will naturally gravitate towards books about orphans.

This is the planting of a seed.

Next, you will have a desire to adopt. You will make this a topic of priority with your fiancé and subsequent husband. Being the Type A planner that you are, even a few months into trying to start a family, you will again give adoption consideration and state, “If we can’t conceive on our own we will adopt.”

This is the watering of a dream.

Two kids, and a few years later, you will read Kisses from Katie and determine that if a twenty-something woman from Tennessee can adopt and foster children on her own in a foreign country, then surely you can foster one child on the way to adoption.

This is sunlight upon fertile soil.

Next you will complete the nearly 10 months of work that it takes to train and paper-approve families to foster. It will be a never ending cycle to prove your family fit to parent a child not your own. You will complain and you will wonder why on earth it will take so much to do a good deed.

This is the breaking forth of a seed out of the dark soil into the sun. 

At last, when you thought the day would never come, you will get the call to pick up your foster son. You will go expectantly with his Thomas the Train backpack and snuggle animal from Target. Then you will meet a child who your heart will forever call son. He will be blonde and beautiful and wild and covered in spaghetti sauce and you will have many long days ahead of you.

This will be the stalk rising from the ground.

For 13 months you will labor, love, and advocate on this child’s behalf. You will sing to him, Jesus Loves Me, and do all the things a mother does. You will watch every single person around you love this little boy like he was your very own son—because in many ways he forever will be your son. You will train him in the way that he should go and pray on his behalf.

This will be the wheat ripe for harvest.  

Finally, at the end of 13 months, you will say good-bye to your little boy as he is reunited with his biological family. It will be one of the hardest and perhaps the most impactful goodbyes you will ever say.

This will be the kernel falling to the ground. 

Months will pass, tears will fall, a new normal will encompass your days, and you will wonder how you ever did it all. You will wonder: can I ever do that again? The answer will not come right away–at least not the answer you think others will expect. But in all the waiting, you will say: Loving another child changed my life—maybe the world in some small way. Then you will tell his story, your story, so that other families may open their homes to make the difference in the life of a child.

Truly, truly, I say to you, unless a grain of wheat falls into the earth and dies, it remains alone; but if it dies, it bears much fruit.

John 12:24

signature

Share This Post With Your Friends!
Filed Under: Faith, Family, Life, Missions, My Story, Walking in the Spirit Tagged With: ,

All Hands on Deck

18 Jun

studying post

This Sunday I have the awesome honor and great responsibility of teaching my first church-wide apologetics class.

I can’t make that sound as daunting and wonderful to you as I would like to. In world importance it is trifle, but in personal and perhaps lasting change it is big. First off, it is a wonderful opportunity to share some of the creation science apologetics that I have studied for 3-5 years. (Really, anytime you or I have the chance to teach it is a culmination of all that God has taught us up to that particular point in life.)  It could prompt lasting change if it encourages even one person to study in order to  enable them to defend their faith better and give a reason for the hope that they have.

Conversely, it is daunting because there is soooooo much information to choose from and therefore a great deal that I aim to communicate accurately. Additionally, our church is very blessed to have a pastor on our staff with a doctorate in apologetics. He is a great teacher who sets the bar high and I have learned a great deal from him. In other words, this isn’t the class’s first rodeo and they will spot a weakling. (Smile.)

That being the case, I had decided a month ago that for VBS I would choose a behind the scenes, low responsibility type job as it starts the Monday directly after my Sunday class. Well, as it turns out, VBS was short on Bible teachers and I changed my volunteer status to teach four-year-old Bible. Part of the responsibilities of the Bible teacher is room decoration. Also, I still needed a co-teacher as volunteers were sparse. I turned to my community group and sought out help. Wouldn’t you know that a co-teacher committed out of my group as well as three ladies to decorate the room?!

Needless to say, these are full weeks for me and I want to give a public praise to God for providing opportunities and the means to meet the demands of these opportunities.  It is remarkable that even though the three ladies decorating the four-year-old Bible room have week-day jobs and can’t volunteer for the face to face VBS time, they are able to contribute to make the classroom environment fun.

What about you? What ministry opportunities are coming your way? How can you enlist the help of friends and sisters/brothers in Christ to help meet Kingdom needs?

I am so grateful that when God calls us He also provides the means to meet the tasks.

This weekend I will post a list of apologetic resources for the participants of Sunday’s class to access. They are for you as well! The resources are geared to further equip us to answer questions about creation, dinosaurs, and the Flood. Be on the lookout for the list and for upcoming posts that will cover the teaching time.

Thanks, as always, for taking time to stop by This Temporary Home. Please read this post with grace as I am certain I have mixed tenses throughout…and yet, I am leaving it that way. Yikes! 🙂

signature

Share This Post With Your Friends!
Filed Under: Apologetics, Life, My Story

Two Reasons I Am Glad I Ditched Facebook

28 May

 

Two Reasons Facebook

I decided to take a break from Facebook the beginning of this year. It was a decision that I had grappled with for some time. I excused my forbearing with Facebook because it was and is a great way to gain readers for This Temporary Home. I held onto that social media outlet for the sheer reason that it promoted traffic to the blog and perhaps provided a glimmer of light and substance on the Facebook market.

Fast forward several months and I am more convinced than ever that I made the right choice when I listened to the still small voice of the Father asking me to trust Him and let the stat counter for the blog fall where it may.

That being said,  my goal is to provide encouragement for those of you who may be sensing it is time to take a hiatus or a permanent departure from Facebook or other social media that you currently use. Some people, like my husband for example, are not driven to check the latest status updates or page patrol. But others, like myself, waste time and emotions on digital portrayals of people I know but would otherwise not keep up with in real life. Or, if I do communicate with them in real life, then I can send a text message, email, share a cup of coffee, or make a good old-fashioned phone call to catch up.

Here are two reasons why I am glad I ditched Facebook:

1. Reduced use of one form of social media seemed to contribute to overall decline in time spent on other social media outlets.

I continue to use some forms of social media. However, I found that by eliminating Facebook I dramatically decreased my time spent mindlessly surfing the other social media outlets that I continue to use. I do not find myself checking the remaining social media with the fervency as before.

2. The twin monsters of envy and  jealousy have drastically quietened themselves.

Envy and jealousy are two of the sins that Jerry Bridges refers to as subtle sins. I’ve written about them on numerous occasions because they pose a problem for me as a Christian woman and for most women in general. Since quitting Facebook, I have no idea what other families did this weekend and therefore less temptation to be jealous or envious that while others were out snorkeling in the Florida Keys, I was at home scrubbing toilets and cleaning dishes. I know about my friends adventures via real life conversations and chances are extremely high that I will celebrate with and for them.

I found it too frequently the case that I would hear about an amazing day at the beach or some such tale and then become jealous that I was stuck in the mundane that day while reading that post.  Facebook ran interference with my contentment.

Join me on Friday for three more benefits of quitting Facebook. 

signature

 

Share This Post With Your Friends!
Filed Under: Contemplation, Discipline, Family, Life, My Story Tagged With: ,

Gym Lessons

21 Feb

102

Being in my early thirties, I should know how to jump rope with ease. Unfortunately, that wasn’t the case until a few months ago. Working out is one of my favorite activities and setting small physical goals has become one of the motivations for helping me achieve new accomplishments and avoid a rut. Learning to jump rope was one such small goal.

A few months ago, I entered the gym with a purpose: get a good workout in and see if the CrossFit videos on jump roping would prove beneficial to me. Whom should my gaze find as soon as I entered? A handsome, twenty-something male at the computer in my all-women’s gym! I decided to stall, as any intimidated female would, and I hit the cardio deck.

One mile on the Stairmaster later, I worked up the nerve to pick up my pink jump-rope. I rehearsed the pointers I had learned: “Elbows tight by my side, hands forward at an angle and jump.” Twenty-five revolutions in and I was feeling great! I paused and geared up for a reset to continue jumping after a minor glitch in rhythm, swung the rope and… WHACK! The jump rope hit the ceiling fan and was flung across the room with a loud thud.

Want to find out what happened next? Join me at iBelieve over here.

Enjoy your weekend!

signature

Share This Post With Your Friends!
Filed Under: Discipline, Faith, Life, My Story Tagged With: , , , , ,