The Desire for Holiness

Red velvet cake…perfection on a plate.

For two days I gazed at the red layers tempted by their sugary goodness-like no other to my taste buds I might add- and desired to eat more and more until it was gone. However, I had resolved not to eat anymore of this type food for a set amount of days.  As I studied the red and white layers, knowing the richness that awaited in one bite, I thought, “This is a perfect picture of temptation.”

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I could have silently eaten of a sliver but God would have known that I was breaking my vow. What good is a vow that is broken? Aren’t the sins we commit in the hidden places the ones that haunt our psyches the most?

I will not eat of you but I will look at you, imagine eating you, and smell you once or twice.

That which tempts us promises a quick return but a length of days to undo…that is if redemption is an option. Some disobedience ends in a final verdict: an unwanted or terminated pregnancy, killing a person while driving intoxicated, loss of property you have gambled away.

I addressed this temptation the only way that I know how to with 100% success: I took it to my husband’s workplace for others to eat!

This post said it so well, our sin affects more than a party of one. It snowballs to all who follow us, depend on us, and look to us with some degree of respect. If so, then the counter must be true as well:

Our holiness not only protects the direction of our lives, it also extends to the lives of our family, friends, community and therefore the world.

How holy do we truly desire to be? Holy enough, or to the standard of God’s word? Will we obey all His commands or will we obey… enough?

The apostle John said, “My dear children, I write this to you so that you will not sin” (1 John 2:1). The whole purpose of John’s letter, he says, is that we not sin. One day as I was studying this chapter I realized that my personal life’s objective regarding holiness was less than that of John’s. He was saying, in effect, “Make it your aim not to sin.” As I thought about this, I realized that deep within my heart my real aim was not to sin very much. I found it difficult to say, “Yes, Lord, from here on I will make it my aim not to sin.”

Yet if we have not made a commitment to holiness without exception, we are like a soldier going into battle with the aim of not getting hit very much. We can be sure if that is our aim, we will be hit — not with bullets, but with temptation over and over again.

~Jerry Bridges, The Pursuit of Holiness (emphasis mine)

If I am being honest with myself, there is a limit to the level of holiness that I presently pursue… that I desire.  How to rectify this? Well, sending “it” to my husband’s workplace is not always an option! Here are some others to employ:

  1. Prayer. Pray that the Holy Spirit would give you the desire to seek holiness and the power to live a holy life.
  2. Scripture memory. Dr. Walp taught us about making memories which are set apart. (Read his post here.) We must have God’s word in our heart so that the Holy Spirit will call scriptures to mind in order for us to make wise and holy choices.
  3. Practice discipline and self-control. This requires 1. and 2.
By this we may know that we are in him: whoever says he abides in him ought to walk in the same way in which he walked.  ~ 1 John 2 5b-6

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Cup-Bearers for the King

My mom and dad paid for over 16 years of dance lessons. They started because I was initially clumsy and couldn’t alternate my feet when walking upstairs at the age of two.  My love for dance continued and for this reason I like to watch So You Think You Can Dance on a fairly regular basis during the season.

Wednesday night I tuned into the last 20 or so minutes of the show and was disheartened. There on the screen was a beautiful young woman. However, her audition costume was one resembling what a bride should wear in the marriage bed the first night of married life. I think you know what I mean.

In an interview with the contestant she told how as a young girl she was shy and withdrawn. Her parents put her in dance. Now,  20 years later, she is auditioning in front of an audience of millions, scantly clad and performing a burlesque jazz number.

I have to ask, Is this the result her parents were hoping to gain when they put their precious preschooler in dance?

I am of the thought the more skin revealed, the more sexual behaviors portrayed, the more loudly the heart cries, “See me? Am I enough? Can you tell me I am enough and I am beautiful? Can you tell me I am worth dying for and fighting for? Do you notice me?”

Let me just say that I did not watch this young woman’s dance. I fast forwarded through her performance. Although I am a woman myself I wanted to uphold these words:

Your eye is the lamp of your body. When your eye is healthy, your whole body is full of light, but when it is bad, your body is full of darkness.  ~Luke 11:34

Turn my eyes from looking at worthless things; and give me life in your ways. ~ Psalm 119:37

You have heard that it was said, You shall not commit adultery. But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart. If your right eye causes you to sin, tear it out and throw it away. For it is better that you lose one of your members than that your whole body be thrown into hell. ~ Matthew 5:27-29

Please know that I was not tempted by this beautiful young woman. However, I know that the dance she was doing was not meant for my eyes nor the eyes of anyone but her husband.

Now back to those questions from earlier especially as they relate to Father’s Day. Dad’s are meant to present the cup of Living Water to their children. They are to be the cup-bearers of their Father telling God’s little girls and boys whose they are and that for which they should hunger and thirst.

A guest pastor on Sunday, Dr. Charles Lowery, put it this way, “We should be telling our children, ‘You are God’s little boy. You are God’s little girl.'” In this way we are imparting the knowledge of whose they are and portraying the practices of how they should act.

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In being a cup-bearer of the Living Water of Christ Jesus parents are filling that void in children’s hearts that say, “Am I enough? What is my purpose? Is there more to this life than my own fleeting pleasures? Isn’t it all about me?”

I am so thankful for a father and a mother who trained me in the way that I should go at an early age. I remember in particular one evening where I was sitting inches from the television screen pointing to a long line of beautiful majorettes and saying, “I want to look like her, and her, and her, and her.” Then shaking my head and adding, “Not like her.”

My dad pulled me aside and told me that it doesn’t matter what we look like on the outside; it is what is on the inside that counts. He continued that we shouldn’t make fun of people because of their size or looks. These words combined with my mother’s constant, “Pretty is as pretty does,” resonated in my young heart… although I only truly understood what my mom was communicating when I was a mother myself.

To those dad’s, like the one my children have, who present the cup of Living Water to God’s children they have been entrusted with, Happy Father’s Day. Continue to do well God’s good and faithful servants. Press on and press in and look out for the devil prowls around like a roaring lion seeking whom he may devour.

To those fathers who have misplaced or replaced the Living Water in their life, I offer the words of your Father in Heaven of Isaiah 55.

Come, everyone who thirsts, come to the waters; and he who has no money, come, buy and eat! Come, buy wine and milk without money and without price. ~Isaiah 55:1

Father’s, as soldiers of the Living God and cup-bearers for the King, once you drink the cup the Lord extends to you, turn and pour a cup for the children He has entrusted to you. Walk in the way of the Lord’s commands and watch as a nation will rise up and praise His Holy Name.

It isn’t too late for the young woman on the dance show. Why not join me now in praying that a full cup of the Living Water would be served up in her presence?

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Putting Our Minds on Things Above

Many songs take us to the throne of Christ reminding us that heaven is our real home. Last week three beautiful young ladies from our student ministry danced to one such song by Travis Cottrell, We Will Dance. Here is the video of that portion of our worship service.

If you are like me you need constant reminding that earth is a temporary home. Today I propose a playlist that will set our minds to the heavens and our real home. I hope that you enjoy these songs that transport us to His throne. I cannot wait to burn my CD and listen to it in the car! Join me?
I am having some minor Internet and computer issues that started on Friday last week. In fact, I am sitting in Panera as I type. Therefore, I cannot directly link these to iTunes for you…if there is a way to do that. Suffice it to say that you can find each of these songs there. Warm up those vocal cords and prepare to worship! 
 
1. Jesus, Son of God from  Passion White Flag 
2. Where I Belong from Building 429
3.  Long Way Home from Steven Curtis Chapman
4. When the Stars Burn Down from Philips Craig and Dean
5. Overcome from Jeremy Camp
6. Jesus, Friend of Sinners from Casting Crowns
7. 10,000 Reasons from Matt Redman
8. Between Heaven and Earth from Matt Maher
 
What songs remind you that heaven is our home? I welcome your suggestions!
 
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Because It Is True

“I want you to read the Bible to me because it’s true.”

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Nearly two weeks ago Ron and I adjusted our bedtime routines with the children. Before bed we would read a chapter book with Emily and three or four picture books with Joshua prior to reading a Bible account. Our dearest Emily has fallen in love with reading. She will sit for hours listening to us read; that is until we reach for the Bible at bedtime.

Ron decided it was time for a change. Our desire is that the Bible would be the most treasured book for our children. Therefore we reserve chapter books and picture books for nap time and throughout the day, but give the Bible center stage at bedtime.

This Wednesday we were home late from church. It was bath night and we were tired. So what if we skipped one night of reading the Bible before bed? There is always tomorrow right?

Emily did not share our sentiments. She was crying and asking Ron to please read a chapter of Luke to her.

As Ron joined me on the couch I joked, “What kind of parents send their kids to bed begging for them to read the Bible?” He was simultaneously thinking, “What kind of pastor am I to not read the Bible to my kid when she is asking?”

When I tucked her into bed (for the second time that evening) Ron picked up his iPad and said, “I am going in there. I cannot send her to bed when she is asking me to read the Bible to her.”

Through tears Emily says, “I wanted you to read the Bible to me because it’s true. I wanted you to read the Bible because you said you would read it every night.”

What if we were at the mercy of some literate adult to read the word of God to us? Consider how starved for the truth we could be.

Tonight we are attending a high school graduation. I know that in fourteen very short years our Emily will be walking across a stage, receiving her diploma, and completely responsible for choosing to read and follow God’s word on her own. Then two years later, Joshua will follow her lead. After that point we will not know what time they go to bed, where they have been all day, nor exactly what temptations they are facing.

Sowing the seed of God’s word now prepares them for the independence that lies ahead. Because it is true, this home and this time we have is temporary, it is our desire to equip them to live for Jesus all the days of their life. After all, we are planting wheat fields, not beanstalks.

“Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one. You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise. You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.

~Deuteronomy 6:4-8

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Expectations of Perfection

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“Have I mislead them?” The question resonated in my mind shortly after posting Looking Back Over a Decade. In this post I wrote, “Perfection is a lie and a snare. ‘Be holy as I am holy.’ Not, ‘Be perfect as I am perfect.’” However, in Matthew 5:48 Jesus instructs his disciples, “You therefore must be perfect as your heavenly father is perfect.” Leviticus 19:2, Deuteronomy 18:13, and 1Peter 1:16 say, “Be holy as I am holy” and “You shall be blameless before the Lord your God.”

Are being perfect and holy the same thing?

From studying these scriptures I would answer, “Yes.” In Matthew the word perfect aligns with complete or mature, blameless. The Commentary Critical and Explanatory on the Whole Bible teaches that Jesus is not speaking on “degrees of excellence, but of the kind of excellence which was to distinguish His disciples and characterize His kingdom.”

Not that I have already obtained this or am already perfect, but I press on to make it my own, because Christ Jesus has made me his own. Brothers, I do not consider that I have made it my own. But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for  the prize of the upward  call of God in Christ Jesus. Let  those of us who are mature think this way, and if in anything  you think otherwise,  God will reveal that also to you. Only  let us hold true to what we have attained. ~Philippians 3:12-16 (emphasis mine)

We may be tempted to reason, “Why should I work for something I cannot obtain?” First, Christ commanded it. Secondly, our idea of perfect is misconstrued.

Today in the western world perfection looks contrary to living a perfect and holy life. Perfection exudes an image that we have it all, can do it all, and can be the best while doing it. I am a frustrated perfectionist on so many levels. I know the exhausting disappointment that striving for perfection brings. The truth is that the mark for me is unattainable and my attempts silly. I am willing to wager it is the same for you.

Being perfect, holy, complete is a working out of obedience and a working in of the Holy Spirit in our lives. Striving ceases at the cross. Obedient abiding (John 15:5) is the road that leads to a blameless, holy, mature life. That is what our Father calls… perfect.

For the times when our inner landscape is less than our outward appearances and attitudes of holiness His blood covers our sins and His Spirit is waiting to work steadfastness into our souls.

God Himself truly is the “standard” of righteousness. If these individuals are to be righteous, they must be as God is, “perfect,” that is, mature (teleioi) or holy. Murder, lust, hate, deception, and retaliation obviously do not characterize God. He did not lower His standard to accommodate humans; instead He set forth His absolute holiness as the standard. Though this standard can never be perfectly met by man himself, a person who by faith trusts in God enjoys His righteousness being reproduced in his life.~ The Bible Knowledge Commentary

Shall we take a walk to His cross?

Click here to view this video in your reader.

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6 Things I Said I Would Never Do As a Parent

What was it I said we would never do as parents? Oh yes, I seem to remember a few things.

I/we will never…

1. Have kids’ toys in our room.

2. Install DVD players in the car.

3. Allow our children to be unresponsive when people talk to them. I find this difficult to say with a straight face. 🙂

4. Let our children sleep in our bed. (Still only happens when Daddy is out of town.)

5. Bribery. (Didn’t make it two years before I began using this “disciplinary methodology.” I must say I try to use it sparingly.)

6. Homeschooling. I am not sure that I ever said I wouldn’t home school; I do know I thought it.

Let me give it to you straight. Today we are leaving to drive an hour and a half to our state’s home school convention. Our kids will watch DVDs in their portable DVD players that we bought them for their birthdays while playing with toys they probably grabbed out of our room prior to ignoring the neighbors who tell them they look so cute this morning. Then they will ask for the gum that was promised if they dressed without complaining.

Ah, confession is good for the soul. At the very least this may be therapeutic for fellow parents, right?

Be careful what you say you will never do for surely you will one day be given the opportunity to make yourself a liar.

Concerning these 6 Things I Said I Would Never Do As a Parent, I wouldn’t have it any other way my friends… okay, so I would have both my children respond when people talked to them. That is the only thing I would change for the present.

Enjoy your weekend and while you are doing so please read these fabulous, point on posts. They may just be the best ones I have read all year long.

Downward Mobility by Shaun Groves  click here

One Thing That Will Make Your Soul Explode by Emily Freeman at Chatting at the Sky click here

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Looking Back Over A Decade

Today we remember our covenant we made 10 years ago. The merging of two lives spiritually and emotionally did not happen overnight, but rather transpired as we stayed the course and trusted God. This life provides the only opportunity to experience a relationship of husband and wife. I too often neglect this truth. In this temporary home, Ron Cooney is my best friend and lover. Over the last 10 years we have grown together and matured.

In celebration, I believe some reflection is in order. Here are 10 lessons that we have learned together the past decade:

1. Faithfulness is a choice we make that blesses our own lives and the lives of all we touch.

Many a man proclaims his own steadfast love, but a faithful man who can find?~Proverbs 20:6

Ron quoted this verse to me just before he said “I love you” for the first time. He desired to be a faithful man. He was so well thought out. I, conversely, had not experienced the unfaithfulness of man to a large degree and quickly, though not entirely thoughtlessly, quipped back, “I love you too.”

Now 10 years later I have experienced the aftermath unfaithfulness leaves. I have seen the destruction that broken covenants inevitably produce and I am all the more aware of the gift that Ron continues to give me.

2. Patience is love waiting.

An inheritance gained hastily in the beginning will not be blessed in the end. ~Proverbs 20:21

Waiting to consummate the marriage on the marriage night and not rushing in the development of our relationship were both aspects that we desired in dating. Ron presented this verse to me, and in true Ron style practiced patience with us, with me, and in the progression of our lives from the start.

3. Purity in singleness prepares us for purity in marriage. Likewise, weaknesses in singleness carryover to our marriage.

To keep the marriage bed pure is not only a task of a single but an ongoing work of the married .With the rings is made a promise, with determination a commitment is kept. A good marriage takes work. Otherwise, we produce a relationship that is hardly working.

4. Perfection is a lie and a snare. “Be holy as I am holy.” Not, “Be perfect as I am perfect.”

You never arrive at the perfect marriage because it is a life-long marathon – not a sprint. We are imperfect people in need of purification by Christ which leads to holiness.

As with everything practice makes… almost perfect. Seek a holy relationship not a perfect one.

5. Differences can enliven or divide.

For example… ideals on money, child raising, and the use of our time and talents. It is hard but necessary to communicate our ideas to one another and arrive at a point of mutual agreement and practice.

6. Think before you speak, but speak before you fall apart.

If you think it and expect it, then project it. No man is a mind reader. We must convey our desires to avoid disappointment and conflict.

7. Marriage succeeds as a triune relationship.

It takes man and wife with God at the head to produce a healthy marriage.

Again, if two lie together, they keep warm,  but how can one keep warm alone? And though a man might prevail against one who is alone, two will withstand him—a threefold cord is not quickly broken. ~ Ecclesiastes 4:11-12

8. Keep it fun!

Continue to be playful and flirt with your mate! Try new things and continue to grow together.

9. Keep learning

… about your mate, marriage, and God via prayer, the Bible, and godly counsel.

10. Work as a team… know who to fight against.

For  we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against  the rulers, against the authorities, against  the cosmic powers over  this present darkness, against  the spiritual forces of evil  in the heavenly places. ~Ephesians 6:12

 

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A Bittersweet Mother’s Day

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This Mother’s Day was bittersweet. Last week brought much heartache to family and friends through the loss of two beautiful women. One a grandmother the other a young mother. As my heart aches for the families grieving I pray for answers to questions and new challenges that these womens’ absence brings.

The pain of death is surely felt by the undeparted.

On Sunday, I was reminded that God is a parent that outlived His son. God the Father did not spare His own son, but gave Jesus as a sacrifice for our sins. We cannot rush through this fact: God. sent. His. son. to. die.

As a result of Jesus rising from the dead He is restored to not only the Father, but to all mankind as well. Further, those who place their faith in the cleansing blood of Christ Jesus will be reunited with family and friends in heaven who are of the same conviction and belief.

Bible verses preached at the grieving absent the Holy Spirit seem dull and lifeless. However, with the Holy Spirit, God’s living word soothes our anxious grief-stricken souls. If even moment by moment. God’s well of mercy has not run dry nor shall it til Christ returns. He promises He will comfort us; both parent and child.

When a child dies before his or her parent, or when a child looses their parent, the Trinity is familiar with this pain and will  give us all that is needed to walk through our tragedy and loss (Romans 8:32). If Mother’s Day was a day of grief for you this year due to the loss of a mother or child I pray God’s peace and blessing on your soul. May the God of all comfort comfort you in your time of need (2 Corinthians 1:3-5). Those who mourn shall indeed be comforted (Matthew 5:4) both in this life and in eternity. Harder days may lie ahead but you never walk alone.

Home is indeed a place called heaven. Perhaps you are more anxious to arrive now that you know more familiar faces await you…He has already wiped away your loved one’s tears.

Photo by my friend Hannah F.

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Celebrations

There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens: a time to be born and a time to die, a time to plant and a time to uproot, a time to kill and a time to heal, a time to tear down and a time to build, a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance, a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them, a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing, a time to search and a time to give up, a time to keep and a time to throw away, a time to tear and a time to mend, a time to be silent and a time to speak, a time to love and a time to hate, a time for war and a time for peace. Ecclesiastes 3:1-8

New life comes in many forms. On March 26, 2012 we welcomed our newest addition to the family, my niece, Anna Bell B. Seven pounds and ten ounces of joy stretched 21 inches long will forever change us for the better.

Emily has cried, “I miss Anna Bell” for two months. Now she holds her precious cousin in her arms while helping feed her bottles of milk.

This week amidst our travels we have celebrated new life and the last two years with Brooks. We gathered with extended family to mourn the passing and celebrate the life of a beloved cousin.

There is a time and a place for everything under the sun. This week was a time to laugh and a time to weep, a time to embrace and a time to love.

 

 

May you make memories in celebration this weekend and live for the home that will outlive the present.

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10 Reasons Why I Like Being a One-Car Family

 

  1. Added family time– The four of us rarely enjoyed family time in the car prior to becoming a one-car family a year ago following our devastating car accident which you can read about here. Being a (youth) pastor’s wife means Sunday is not family day, but a work day. It took some major adjusting on this mama’s part to remember that getting our children to church was my mission as a helpmate to Ron and his vocation. Now that we are a one-car family I continue to be a pseudo single mom on Sunday and Wednesday, but after church we return to our family of four status as we now enjoy riding home together most Sunday’s.During the week the kids and I enjoy taking Ron to work even though this means everyone is ready for the day a little earlier than we might be if this responsibility was omitted.  Together time in the car allows us to confer about scheduling, work out any early morning spats, or just enjoy our coffee and kids together for a few more minutes.
  2. No payments– We have enjoyed payment free cars for several years prior to our accident and had even entertained the idea of converting to a single car. After totaling my Rendezvous and purchasing the Trailblazer, Ron decided that he would sell his truck to pay the difference for the new purchase and therefore leave us with no payment. This is one of the examples of servant leadership that I so admire about my husband and saw modeled in my dad prior to marriage. Dad drove an old Chevrolet pickup for years so that mom, my sister, and I could ride in a newer reliable mode of transportation.
  3. Less maintenance– With only one car we have one to maintain including tires, oil-changes, and, as our luck has gone this year, minor fender-benders (one where an ambulance backed into us at a red light and another where a pickup truck busted my back taillight).
  4. The clean factor– Ron has the car on certain days of the week and I know this means he will more than likely being transporting coworkers at lunch. Therefore, I try my best to have the car clear of trash and most toys. This means we start our days with a clean car.
  5. Shared bedtime duties– As I mentioned earlier, on church days in the past I would arrive home before Ron and have the added responsibility of lunch or dinner preparation plus bedtime routines for both kids. Now since we arrive home together my work load on those days has been reduced by half. What a blessing!
  6. Community-With only one car this makes for carpooling with friends on a regular basis for Ron and occasionally for me. Anytime we spend with others develops relationships and furthers the bonds of community.  It is both humbling and encouraging to find that so many are willing to extend a helping hand to us. In fact, this week as I visit my family with the kids, a generous friend has loaned his second car to Ron for two weeks. We are so thankful for this act of brotherly love.
  7. Rising to a challenge-I have to admit contemplating the transition from one car to two and actually doing it are two different things. The reality is that an accident kindly forced our hand. While some have jested, “Why don’t you just buy another car?” We have found that though planning is required the truth is that one car makes life a bit simpler than two. We can actually do without the “more” we believe we require. Thankfully, rising to this challenge has required planning not pains.
  8. Added margin– Owning one car requires that we simply stay at home more. We find that there are certain days that play dates and outings can occur. This is good for me because otherwise the laundry would be neglected all the more and the toys we have at home would be played with all the less.
  9. A steady rhythm to our days – I love Jamie Martin of Steady Mom. She wrote the wonderful book Steady Days that speaks of having a rhythm to the schedule of our days. Being a one-car family has definitely enforced a rhythm into the dynamics of our life.
  10. At least one bicycle is used– Yes, this last point may be pathetic, but it is true. If Ron were not forced to ride his bicycle to work on Sunday’s it most likely would sit next to mine rusting in the sunshine. However, I am going to lean into the curves and bike our county’s trail if it is one of the only things I do in the next two months!

What about you? Do you think you could share the car with your spouse for a day or two? Maybe even a week? If you do, let me know your experience. Perhaps you too would find that the benefits outweigh the inconveniences.

Shotgun!

 

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