Mama, You Do You

Driving in our new to us minivan with all four kids this week, I had a thought strike me. In the midst of our current audiobook, Ember Rising: The Green Ember, Book 3, babies bantering with one another, and while focused to observe all traffic laws, I considered how different motherhood looks in the twenty-first sentry than the ones before it. My daily tasks aren’t the harvesting and preserving of crops, the care of chickens, and the day-long preparation of food. In fact, I spend little to no time on the daily work that encompassed frontier women one-to-two-hundred years ago.

The last few generations have been fed the lie that we as women, wives, mothers, workforce laborers, entrepenuars, and the so the list goes, can be and do all. It doesn’t take an outside poll, expert, or mama blogger like myself to tell you that having it all is not reality.

No woman does it all. I know it can be easy to look at our favorite podcast host, author, tv personality, or even the mom you follow on social media and wonder how she successfully conquers all she sets her hands to. The fact is, there is so much she doesn’t do while you are busy looking at all she does.

I have had several friends ask me how I manage to make book lists, write a blog, self-publish a book, home educate our four children, and make time for exercising. It might be tempting for someone on the outside looking in to assume I have it all together and do it all. Let me tell you, I certainly don’t do it all, nor do I have it all together. I don’t believe any woman does, not even Joanna Gaines! My laundry pile is always heaping and if it isn’t I feel a huge accomplishment as if summiting Everest. If I spend an hour on dinner I feel a pat on the back is in order. I never work in our yard; our kids and my husband do that. While I am passionate about our house being picked up, it is hardly ever deep-cleaned. We say no to outside commitments more often than yes, and our children are only involved in one extra-curricular activity each that occurs simply once a week.

I’m telling you all this mama to communicate a singular point: You do you. God has uniquely shaped your passions and interests. He has gifted you, equipped you, and molded your every day for the mission he has for you to fulfill. While we are all here to glorify God and love and serve Him forever, the ways in which we do this and the magnitude to which our efforts are visible are as varied as the colors of the sunrise and sunset around the world.

While my role as wife and mother at the core–to love, serve,and raise disciples–is the same as that of every mother in history, it is also varied by the period in which I live, the call of the Lord vocationally upon my husband and our family, my interests and abilities, and the opportunities that I either seize, strive toward, or let slip out of reach.

While your motherhood may not look like Marmee from Little Women (Puffin in Bloom) darning socks and working on the war effort, Ma from The Little House (9 Volumes Set), or even Kate, Duchess of Cambridge, your role looks like God has defined it for this period of time, in this season of life, and by His eternal plan. You do you in all the ways that God has called you to loving and serving your husband and children and your community in the unique ways that make up the fabric of your life.

Driving in my minivan and looking at the beautiful children who ride along with me, I am reminded that all too soon my van will be emptied of all car seats and the precious children that encompass it. In their place will be young men and women sent into the world to make a way for themselves. I hope that when that time comes I will have been faithful more days than not in the everyday in the way that God called me to walk out His purposes for my life in order to have the greatest impact on theirs.

God bless you mamas!

You can now purchase my book, Thirty Balloons: An Adoption Tale, on Amazon.

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Expectations of Coffee

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The morning started out like most.  The alarm signaled the start to another day and, of course, I hit the snooze.  As the second reminder sounded, I obliged and turned the alarm off. Feet to the floor, my hand turned the worn knob, and an exhilarating smell greeted me like a welcome guest.

Ah, coffee.

This particular day brought the flavor-rich coffee to the desired boldness with the absolute perfect portion of added hazelnut creamer. Finishing off the last sip with a reading of multiple Psalms from my daily Bible reading plan – the one that I seem to always be behind on – I managed to complete my morning breakfast and Bible ritual before the kids awoke. Success!

I poured another cup, threw on my gym clothes, brushed my teeth and headed out the door to my local women’s gym. With three children and one car, my husband and I have set days to work out. I look forward to my turn each time.

Join me over at iBelieve today to finish reading this post. Click here.

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I Have Not Love

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Jesus,

Help me. I have not love. At least not love enough.

Your Daughter,

Brooke

P.S.

I only love because you first loved me. Thank you…

How numerous the opportunities to kneel or to break by 10:00 in the morning! Today, the rare occasion in which the children awake me…at 6:00 no less; I choose to kneel. Sending daddy off to work; kneel again. A visit with Little E’s case manager, I kneel as the kids either obey the first time… or not. But wait, wait for it, here it comes…I bend…then break.

Crayons are given, coloring pages laid out, one book is read, and the starting of another. It is at this point it all comes unglued. I bend something mighty and the peace breaks into the very pieces which cannot be picked up.

A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another. By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.~John 13:34-35

If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. 1 Corinthians 13:1

If I am in fellowship with Christ, then shouldn’t I demonstrate love in action? Even with the provocations of three children? Instead, I bend and so went the clanging pieces of broken people clashing loud… the absence of patient love.

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People are fond of quoting the verse, “God is love.” But, C.S. Lewis rightly questions the meaning behind these words. Are we misusing these words as mere semantics for the thought that every love people express is God? Here is what Lewis has to say in this regard:

But they seem not to notice that the words “God is love” have no real meaning unless God contains at least two Persons. Love is something that one person has for another person. If God was a single person, then before the world was made, He was not love. Of course, what these people mean when they say that God is love is often something quite different: they really mean “Love is God.” They really mean that our feelings of love, however and wherever they arise, and whatever results they produce, are to  be treated with great respect. ~ Mere Christianity, p. 151

God is love expressed in his three state relationship between the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit and then to His creation. To sustain my relationship with others I require the love of God as infused by daily filling of the Holy Spirit. The filling that I should seek and lean into through prayer and the reading and memorization of Scripture.

In the church, love is the most needed as the culmination of gifts that God has given His people: teaching, acts of service, giving, admonition, etc., are utilized. Whether preaching the gospel in our home,  to the body of Christ, or to a lost world, love is the essential key for others to see Christ in us; for others to know that we actually believe what we profess.  I realize this  especially when I have chosen to stomp my feet, dig in my heels, and demand the obedience that is required from our children as their mom.

Jerry Bridges perfectly illustrates the effects of the absence of love in the following story:

I remember hearing of one university student of whom it was said, “He can lead people to Christ, but no one wants to room with him.” Whether he could, given that immaturity of character, truly lead people to a saving knowledge of Christ may be questioned by some. But whether he could or not, it is true that a great big dose of love was needed to make him truly effective. ~ True Community: The Biblical Practice of Koinonia

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After the kids had listened to the second story and sat there as quietly as possible in obedience I penned the note above. I need more of Christ because I need to love others more… I must choose to kneel.

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