Dear Paw Paw: A Life Remembered

Dear Paw Paw,

Last night you stepped out of time and space and stepped into eternity with King Jesus, the Maker of heaven and earth. The hope of Heaven is realized and every ailment and tear removed. You’ve been given a new body and issued new work. Oh to hear the stories you could tell about all your eyes have seen, ears have heard, and soul felt as now you know fully, even as you have been fully known for the 85 years you lived in this life. Welcome to eternity Paw Paw!

Ask different people in our community and family as to how they will remember you as they look back on your life well-lived, and they may say a number of things: athlete, serviceman, coach, teacher,  principal, disciple maker, father, friend, fisherman, sportsman, and for my Grammie, faithful husband of 62 years. For me, however, I like to remember you as gardener, hard worker, loyal member of your community, and teller of stories and a few yarns. Perhaps someone should add a real character to this list. I think that would be fitting.

The picture I will hold in my mind’s eye, is one of you sitting in your work clothes, sweaty from the garden you faithfully kept until a few years ago–just as your mother and father before you–drinking a Coke Cola, and eating a Nutty Bar. After your snack you would head out fishing and enjoy time in nature. It wasn’t until recently that I connected your and Dad’s love of fishing with my own love of hiking and exploring nature. I didn’t inherit the Cost/Davis fishing gene, so I never went on too many fishing trips. I simply couldn’t, and can’t, sit still and wait that long for a fish.  I do enjoy a boat ride just the same.

There are two pieces of wisdom you directly related to me which I will hold onto and follow. The first one being how we can repay our parents for the sacrifices they made to raise us. You passed on this information to me shortly after the death of your mother. Ron and I were newlyweds and we couldn’t make the 500 mile trip for her funeral. The next time we came home, you were out walking and I drove by and rolled my window down to talk. You told me that your mama said the only way we can really repay our parents for all they did for us, was by raising our own children well. I have thought of that often, Paw Paw. I just thought you should know.

The second piece of advice was concerning sports. Having been an athlete yourself, and then coaching dozens or hundreds of young men, you told me that you wouldn’t put your son in sports until they were in middle or high school. You said injury and burn out were too likely and to let our son(s) play for fun before getting serious about a sport. I agreed, and still do.

A few particular memories that I have of you are snippets from my childhood. I have a tendency to forget large chunks of time, but there are some vivid memories that remain. Like each Christmas morning when you and Aunt Ginger would come and see what presents we had received. Or the time you came and picked Mom, Julie, and I up to take to your and Grammie’s house during the Blizzard of ’93 while Dad was out restoring people’s electricity. As well as the time you and Ginger also came to pick us up after we got our pickup truck stuck in the deer woods and had to walk to civilization. I also vaguely remember a story about Brett and Chase riding their bicycles through the Jemison Elementary School  hallways after the original wood floors were newly stained. I don’t think you were to happy with them then. I’ll be sure and ask them about that later.

By far, of all your accomplishments and accolades in this life from friends and colleagues, the greatest gift you gave this world was being a faithful husband and father to your wife and three beautiful girls. That is a legacy that will live on for generations. God promises us that this is so (see Exodus 20:6). I also agree with G.K. Chesterton, The most extraordinary thing in the world is an ordinary man and an ordinary woman and their ordinary children. I am forever grateful for being a part of an ordinary family; in today’s world that is an extraordinary thing.

We are joyful you are Home and tearful that you are gone. I love you Paw Paw…see you when I get Home.

P.S. Everyone knows behind a great man is an excellent woman. No one who knows you doubts this. We will take good care of Grammie for you. She is a rare jewel.


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Letting Go of Easter Expectations

“There is no way that I can recreate my childhood’s Easter experiences for my children.”

I nodded in empathetic agreement as my friend uttered the words. The same sentiment had slipped past my lips just a day before. Frilly new Easter attire (in my case handmade), egg hunts with dozens of cousins, and our annual family Resurrection Day feast cannot be recreated hundreds of miles away from family; nor additionally in light of my friend’s and my husband being a pastor and Easter being a major work day.

Your husband may not be a pastor. In fact, you may be a single mom. Either way, if your family lives in a location away from extended family, maintaining Easter traditions in keeping with your nostalgic childhood experiences is most likely an unrealistic expectation.

That’s okay.

The key to celebrating Easter lies in celebrating the Risen Savior.

Both my friend, and my husband, verbalized the truth that, as Christians, we celebrate the resurrection every day. Whether or not my children have new Sunday morning outfits, boys and girls outside of siblings to dye and hunt eggs with, or Easter memories of running amongst their great grandmother’s blue hydrangea bushes, or pink and white dogwood trees, akin to my Easter memories, isn’t the eternal point. Celebrating Jesus and proclaiming the gospel message is the central truth of this annual rememberance.

Our children will have their own Easter memories and traditions; different though they may be from our own.

Sally and Sarah Clarkson’s book, The Lifegiving Home , has wonderful suggestions for cultivating family traditions in every month of the year. Our Easter traditions center around the taking of the Lord’s Supper with our church on the evening of Palm Sunday, the reading of familiar collections of the Easter account (see Five Easter Books for Your Preschooler and Read Aloud Revival’s April Booklist) peppered each year with a few new favorites, dying eggs, and simple seasonal decorations. As I was writing this post, my mother’s annual Easter package arrived. The joy on the children’s faces was evident as our oldest said, Nana sends the best packages. I hope when I am a grandmother I will send such wonderful packages too.

Easter provides an opportunity to outwardly and evangelistically celebrate the Risen Savior, Jesus Christ.

Easter is a time to seek opportunities to share the truth of who Jesus Christ is with non-believers, in addition to solidifying the gospel message in our children’s hearts (prayerfully) and minds. More people attend church on Christmas and Easter than any other time of the year. Letting go of the expectations to recreate our childhood celebrations and choosing to embrace the opportunity to share teachings of Christ’s death, burial, and resurrection is the eternal point of Easter. It is a Mary moment for this Martha-like woman to acknowledge these things.

Christ is risen; He is risen indeed!


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Surprised by Five Years

For those of you who are frequent readers of this blog, you’ve probably noticed it has been a few months since I posted. In fact, it was Christmas since I’ve last written. No, I didn’t make it a New Year’s Resolution to stop blogging, although it may certainly seem like that. With the addition of our fourth child I have been back to newborn mode, and, quite honestly, we have been searching for our footing as a family of six.

It isn’t that I haven’t thought about blogging and even started some posts in my head. It’s just that the free time I managed to find was spent soaking in, rather than pouring out content. We parents spend all day every day pouring out don’t we? Especially parents of very small, dependent, wonderful children.

In  confession…

I have contemplated hanging up my writing hat for a while, venturing off on a new mode of communication (does anyone else love podcasts?), or, simply sticking with what works for the present. This afternoon, I was attempting to update a few things on the blog. In so doing, I came to the realization that This Temporary Home turned five in January! I knew I had faithfully typed away in this corner of the internet for some time, but I had no idea it was a celebratory anniversary year! For this homeschooling mama it is the equivalent of approaching either kindergarten or fifth grade graduation. Of course it’s homeschool, so no graduation ceremony, but at least I should take us all out to dinner and bake our favorite desserts, right? Or, maybe I’ll lower expectations and simply write a thank you note as we enter our sixth year.

With that said…

Thank you for subscribing, sharing, pinning, posting, liking, and reading five years of posts. I pray we have grown together. I pray something here has lifted your gaze to Jesus and to heaven–our eternal home. Additionally, I pray we have some roads left to travel together.

Following five months of being a family of six, I am beginning to come back around as an individual. There are a few days when the creative, contemplative juices are flowing enough to once again put fingers to keys and articulate what I am learning and viewing in the world around me. Will you come back and visit This Temporary Home soon? I hope you do!

Until then, home is a place called heaven,


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Bringing Christmas Home: 15 of Our Favorite Christmas Picture Books

Memories shared around favored Christmas books is one of our most beloved ways to celebrate the season. There are many things to see and do at Christmastime that involve activities outside the home, but books can take you back in time or to another location entirely. Or, perhaps, even allow you to walk in another man…or child’s… shoes. Be it the orphaned child, the homeless family, the shepherd boy, or an elderly woman seeking to catch a glimpse of Christmas magic, you and your family can enter their world and learn empathy and lessons to guide your own steps. Check a few of these out at your local library, favorite thrifted bookstore, or purchase them online and give them a try.

Her spirits, which had been high, fell a little as a sense of time touched her. How slowly it crawled and yet how fast it flew. She had been young and now she was old and the years between had vanished as though they had never been. ~Elizabeth Goudge, I Saw Three Ships

Merry Reading,

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Bringing Christmas Home

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It is all too easy for us to address Christmas as merely a bustle of ribbons and bows, wrapping paper and hot cocoa. However, each of us know that the memories that flood our minds of Christmas’ past encompass much more than that. Holiday movies, family traditions, familiar books, and everyday conversations around twinkling lights are the Christmas gifts we carry with us our lives long.

Our family has developed many traditions starting with our annual visit to Neely Christmas Tree Farm, followed by stringing lights with Dad outside as later mom decorates the tree into the wee hours of the night. Then there is the evenings shared in advent stories and lighting of candles. This year we have an actual advent wreath with candles; last year we merely pretended! A trip to Experience Bethlehem at a local church and a stroll amidst the lights at the botanical gardens are a few traditions that round out our list. These are just a few markings of the season for our family.

We bring Christmas home in the traditions we share and in the sharing of our material and spiritual blessings with others. Providing a shoebox to a child around the world, giving to support a missionary or a local child in need. Praying over the immense needs of people we know and those we read about…our own.

Perhaps my favorite way to bring Christmas home is in the sharing of story. Sitting around the Christmas tree, sipping on cider or cuddled in a cozy blanket, while we share in several familiar and a few new seasonal stories brings me tidings of true comfort and joy.

In all the ways that we celebrate Christmas, there are some central truths to our celebrations. The why behind the what that encompasses our season…

We bring Christmas home, because Christ left His home to dwell with mankind.

We each bring Christmas home, because the King of Kings humbled Himself, born as a babe in the lowliest of places, thereby identifying with the poorest among us both in spirit, body, and in means.

We bring Christmas home, because the Gift birthed for all mankind took on flesh and dwelt among us and we have seen His glory the glory of the Father’s one and only Son. (John 1:14)

We bring Christmas home, because we need to ponder all His ways and workings much like Mary pondered the events of His birth.

We bring Christmas home, because we are not home yet, and we await His coming again. The glorious arrival of heaven on earth for all of eternity.

We bring Christmas home, because we have all like sheep gone astray and God laid on Him the iniquity of us all. (Isaiah 53:6)

We bring Christmas home, because any given Christmas we are either the shepherds or the wise men: we must follow the evidence of promises yet unseen.

In all the ways we bring Christmas home, they serve a purpose to remind us that the bustle of the season isn’t the business of the season. The Christ-child is the business of the season, and the blessing as well. We celebrate Christmas because Jesus brought Christmas home to us. He is the gift.

Even if your Christmas isn’t swaddled in tradition or swaths of red and green this year, may you bring Christmas home to your heart this season and always.

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The False Summits of Adoption

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In hiking, a false summit is the portion of the mountain that appears to be the highest point; however, upon reaching it, a mountaineer sees that the summit is higher. Unless prepared for such false summits, the effect on a hiker’s psychological state can be damaging.  So much so, that the she may give up and begin a disappointing descent.

In the summer of 2015, our then family of four hiked the majestic Manitou Incline in Manitou Springs Colorado. It was the most difficult hike to date that we have hiked as a family, and it has proven to provide so many parallels to obstacles we have faced in our adoption journey. The two-thousand feet gain in elevation over a mile at the front end of the hike was almost paralyzing to my psyche. I wasn’t sure we could complete this hike with success, but we ventured forth anyway. The people along the journey were so encouraging. They couldn’t believe that our five and seven year old children were attempting such a hike.

The real kicker came as we were approaching what seemed the top of the incline. Another hiker told us, its a false summit. The top is still a ways up. What? There was more? We had already had to make accommodations for one child to poop while on the trail (that was a first and only so far!) and our other child started off battling a bit of an asthmatic episode and had to be carried for part of the initial portion of the hike. A false summit! Okay, time for a snack and to regroup and prepare ourselves for the remainder of the journey to the summit.

In order to complete this hike we were on all fours, lifting children, encouraging children, and taking multiple breaks. The good news is… we made it! The victory welcome at the top from the other hikers is something our children will never forget; and I am almost positive, some of our fellow hikers will not forget either. In particular one man named Don.

Our adoption journey which we had temporarily laid down for nearly two years was reinitiated after we returned from that family vacation. That summer multiple videos were released which exposed Planned Parenthood for selling the body parts of aborted babies and killing them in such a way as to gain the most profit from their organs. These videos were the tipping point for us to take another step towards adoption. We had fostered for 13 months in the hopes that we would foster to adopt. However, our hearts were so wounded  and raw after the reunification of our foster son, that we knew a time of refreshing and regrouping as a family was necessary. As we all know, the Lord will not let us rest forever. That summer He was calling us back to the work of adoption and orphan care.

In July of 2015 we decided not to recertify as foster parents but to ask that we go straight into the adoption process. In short, much misinformation was communicated to us which has further complicated our adoption journey there on out. However, in September of 2015, through the fostering of a baby by friends of ours, we met a beautiful blonde-headed, blue-eyed boy that we are now in the final stages of adopting. For ten months we daily made multiple phone calls, sent numerous emails, and advocated on behalf of the best interest of this child before he was placed in our home as a pre-adoptive placement in July of 2016.

You may rush by that last sentence; but for us, the living out of those ten months was long and arduous.

With high hopes that the adoption would be finalized in October of this year (2016), we awaited the go ahead from the attorney to schedule the court date. We inched closer to the anticipated court date only to discover that our son was not yet free and clear for adoption, but that a paperwork error had occurred and we were essentially back to a holding period.

Was this a false summit, or merely a strenuous portion of our hike?

With that knowledge in mind, I boarded a plane in late September and went hiking for two days in breathtaking Washington State with a dear friend. No false summits in sight on our hikes, and so far, none our adoption journey.

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Until…

Two days after my return home, we were told that our adoptive son’s mother was pregnant and would give birth to his sibling within a month.

False summit identified.

Stunned, is probably a good word for our reaction to this news. Overjoyed, is the word for our children’s response! Little had we known that Emily, our oldest daughter had been fervently praying for a baby sister. Now, she saw that her dream was within reach.

So today, we find our family expanding–at least at present, and Lord willing forever- to a family of six. Emily was right, the baby is a girl. So as we ascend this (what we perceive to be) the final portion of the adoption summit, let our story be one that encourages and informs you. Few adoptions are expedient, and none are without loss and pain. False summits happen all the time in hiking and perhaps with more frequency in life.

We are looking forward to that mountain-top view. The summit shall surely be worth it. We anticipate sharing in the joy and telling the God moments. To God be the glory!

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Using Books to Cultivate a Heart for Orphans and Adoption

My passion for adoption started growing long before my adult years. It came as a result of the planting of the Holy Spirit, and it also came in the form of story. Books cultivate life experiences in a safe environment and develop compassion and sympathy, passion and purpose, in children prior to their ability to act on those feelings.

As we enter into the cooler, cozier days of November, it is a perfect time to introduce, or perhaps continue the narration of, stories to our children which cultivate a heart for orphans and adoption. There is a lengthy list at Good Reads and here are a few of my favorites to get you started. I tend to recommend these as read aloud books to be shared with the whole family in order to encourage dialogue. Not all of these books are serious, but they all prompt us to think about orphans and begin cultivating a heart for orphan care and adoption in our homes. As with all books we share with our children, please be sure and preview the content to make sure it is age appropriate and sensitive to the specific environment of your child’s history and emotional maturity.

Don’t have children of your own? That’s okay too! As C.S. Lewis stated, A children’s story that can only be enjoyed by children is not a good children’s story in the slightest.

Read Alouds for K4-3rd grade or older:


Read Aloud Books for 3rd and Up:

 

 

Older students (young adult):

 

One more that is on my to-be-read pile and was recently highlighted in this week’s episode of the Read Aloud Revival Podcast is:

Which books have you used to bring awareness of orphan care and adoption into your life and home? What books would you add to this list? I have always gravitated to books about orphans and in the coming weeks will unfold as much as I am presently allowed about our current adoption journey. Stay tuned!

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Fall Into Tradition

I looked across the straw-filled wagon at my husband, our daughter, and two sons, and in that moment I knew: we had fallen into a new tradition. With my daughter to the right of me and the boys to the left, it was clear that this humid second day of fall was proving to be the first of an annual tradition to the Harvest Hollar Corn Maze. Funny how a simple click on a Groupon for a corn maze can turn into a magical family experience.

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We arrived much later than we intended and soaked up every bit of child-hood nostalgia possible in the fleeting light of sunset. I thought Laura, Mary, and baby Carrie would come strolling out to feed the cows and horses with us any minute. I thought we would surely see Almanzo eating homemade pumpkin pie and cobbler with the appetite of a grown farmer in the general store. Indeed, I think I caught a glimpse of Caddie Woodlawn running through the field chasing after her Pa, hair wild and eyes sparkling as we listened to music of days past. In reality, it was the perfect family setting to match the wonderful childhood literature that my children are surrounded with. It was the fruit of much toil and a dream of a farmer and his wife.

When one reaps, a harvest of righteousness will come if he does not give up. In this case, as in so many others, we enjoy the harvest of a sowing we took no part in. Little by little the crowds have grown to thousands that come to this farm each year with their family to make memories that will outlast the brief hours of their visits. Glory be to God for His unfailing wisdom and grace upon grace that we can all share a table when the work is done. That in each part of the Body accomplishing the work God gives them to do, bearing their load with the Lord, and seeking to assist one another, we can meet at the table and feast on the fruit.

For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal. ~2 Corinthians 4:17-18

Dear reader, your work may be invisible to most, but important to many. To impact the millions after Him, Christ discipled the twelve before Him. What is set before you this day? Faithfully sow and then perhaps we will all reap as you do not give up.

We have fallen into tradition this season. A new way to mark the years and seasons as a family. Tell me about the traditions in your home. Do share–you never know, maybe we will fall for your tradition too.

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We Fall Once More

Fall Once More

Yesterday marked the first day of fall. We had a humble, but much anticipated, celebration in our home all day which we lovingly termed our Fallibration. Nothing fancy, just simple fun. A fall sign made from repurposed brown packaging paper from an Amazon order, dollar store cups, plates, and a table cloth, and plenty of baking and books for all.

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Each year the turn of seasons is a good place to pause, praise, and perceive what the Savior is teaching us in our current season. Also, to identify what type of season we are in. It is easy for us, particularly women I believe, to assess our entire season of life on the last week alone. I know I do. My husband can ask me how I, we, our family is doing, and I will base my answer on the afternoon and not the week or season in its entirety.

We are back in the throws of toddlerhood and homeschooling as September is turning a brilliant red and bursting into October. I have failed in grace and fallen so many times in need of grace. Can you relate? In fact, this week, while apologizing to my oldest son, my daughter quipped with a knowing grin, We have to forgive you everyday mommy. It’s true, we fall once more and need to be forgiven daily. Maybe not by our children–as my daughter was partially teasing, or maybe we so– but certainly by our Heavenly Father. The maker and sustainer of our physical seasons and our life’s seasons knows our weaknesses and limitations. He remembers out of the dust we were formed. We fall once more and then turn and fall into the forgiving grace-filled arms of the Savior.

We repent and seek change in ourselves, our reactions, and reconciliation with God and man daily. God knows we will fall under self-sustained burdens. That is why we need to be in fellowship and friendship, with Him, with a local Body of Believers, and with the Church Universal. He assures us in His word:

Let us then approach God’s throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need. (Hebrews 4:16)

Two are better than one because they have a good return for their labor. For if either of them falls, the one will lift up his companion. But woe to the one who falls when there is not another to lift him up.  (Ecclesiastes 4:9-10)

Come to Me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me; for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.… (Matthew 11:28-29)

As we fall once more, may we keep these and similar verses in mind so that we may fall forward in grace and sanctification; sustaining ourselves with God’s Word, the power of the Holy Spirit, and the fellowship of believers.

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Beginning Again

Isn’t it nice to think that tomorrow is a new day with no mistakes in it yet? ~Anne of Green Gables, by Lucy Maud Montgomery

Fresh starts. What a positive turn of phrase. Lucy Maud Montgomery’s protagonist,  Anne Shirley, Anne with an e, states the above quote which makes each day sound so romantic and full of possibilities. Contrast this with the phrase beginning again, that sounds more determined with an end-goal in mind.

I believe that most of life is full of moments which necessitate beginning again and less of fresh starts.

Consider Mark 4:1, in which Mark documents the setting of Jesus’ teaching: And he began again to teach by the sea side: and there was gathered unto him a great multitude, so that he entered into a ship, and sat in the sea; and the whole multitude was by the sea on the land. (Emphasis mine.)

I read this verse one morning in July and it stirred both comfort and an impression to pause and consider. I had quickly gathered belongings to take our children to the beach and thought how much effort it takes to get us to the surf and sun. Once we arrived, this verse was brought to mind again as I watched our oldest son playing in the sand. Today’s efforts may seem to disappear with the setting of the sun, but it is the continuous working over time that brings growth which outlasts the sunsets of today.

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Beginning again: parenting.

Over the past fourteen months, we have actively pursued adding to our family in the manner of adoption. We are less than a month away from the culmination of faithful prayers and petitions on the part of numerous friends and family… in short, the efforts of the Body of Christ. One fall day in early October, our son will be legally deemed our son, and the work of adopting will be sealed.

During the last eight months, I’ve written far less than usual and certainly below my personal desire. My days have been full emotionally, physically, and dare I say, spiritually. The task of beginning again each day has been most of what I could handle. In honesty, I have wondered if it were time to hang up my writing hat until another life season. What is the purpose of blogging? Aren’t there enough bloggers and books out there? Is this creative outlet for me purposeful, or is it a frivolous use of a precious commodity that always seems in short supply? Additionally, it has been a season of reading, studying, and learning from others. I have weighed writing versus reading many days.

Beginning again: daily work.

Everyday I must begin again. In our home, we have chosen home education for our children. This means that my personal and professional calling are synonymous. I am a mother and an educator. Both teacher and disciple-maker. This has proven to be a passion of mine and a daunting task as I, we,–my husband and I– bear the responsibility of preparing our children for the rest of their lives in every aspect. Beginning again everyday in this area takes energy, courage, and determination. It also takes will. The will not to compare my methods, my children, or the opportunities that we provide them to other homeschoolers, family members, or the world in general. Our education endeavor is on the forefront of my mind always. I weigh the options of running to the beach, out to the park, or reading one more book with my kids, to writing and slipping away to pound the keyboard with my thoughts.

Beginning again: daily tasks.

Everyday you and I must begin again with daily tasks. It is essential that we perform the mundane tasks of life in order to live. Food, dishes, laundry, cleaning, studying, working. This is our everyday lives. These are the things we are to purposefully bring to the Father and offer as a sacrifice to Him. Consider Romans 12:1: Therefore I urge you, brethren, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies a living and holy sacrifice, acceptable to God, which is your spiritual service of worship. Each day we must begin again to keep our living areas, desks at work, and our daily schedules in order. In the words of Mother Teresa, we are to do small things with great love. These are our everyday acts of worship to the Lord. To praise him in the daily and seek him as we begin the tasks of each new day. Oh how I need to remember and practice this! The joy that would invade my life if I approached tasks in this way.

Beginning again: unexpected change.

So there you have it. We know this in our hearts and minds that each day we begin again; however, we think about beginning again perhaps as often as we think to breathe. That is, we think of beginning again each day with such nonchalance until beginning again becomes more difficult than usual. Some beginnings may not be such a welcome and expected turn of events that cause each new day’s beginnings to be challenging. It may be a move, an unexpected health issue, a death in the family, or a career change. In any case, God’s word models constancy for us. Following in His footsteps, we can begin again with eternity in mind. We are able to pause and picture Jesus, with His complete knowledge of what the future would bring, with His mission on the forefront of His mind, stepping into a boat once more to teach the multitudes that were drawn to hear Him. He knew the harvest was ripe, He knew His time on earth was short, and He began again…

Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. Galatians 6:9

Here’s to beginning again every day,

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