Foster Care: What I Wish I Knew

Several years have slipped by since I first penned a letter to my younger self concerning foster care. (Read here.) During that six year period, I have had many people in the process of foster care certification ask me what I wish I had known when embarking on this journey.

What do I wish I had known?

I wish that I viewed behavior not as defiance, but as a means to communicate hurt and reactions to trauma that words would not allow. Our experience in both foster care and adoption has been with children three and under thus far. These little people cannot process or communicate the feelings that are ripping their hearts apart or causing them anger and anxiety. In truth, I cannot always put words or awareness to the many emotions and reactions that I have or have had in this process. In fact, I attended a Q & A foster care panel last evening and found myself with tears streaming down my cheeks as the panel approached their seats. They hadn’t even spoken a word! These last six years of foster care and adoption have been emotionally draining; not only the process, but the relearning how to parent children that have faced loss so early in life. Behaviors convey more than defiance.

I wish I read books not required by our foster licensing, but recommended by fellow foster and adoptive parents. Our foster training was a three hour course once a week over 10 weeks. Each week we met and were lectured on the expectations of foster parents as well as some scenarios that we could expect. We completed homework assignments and filled out heaps of paperwork. Sadly, we were not equipped to deal with practical everyday behaviors, only instructed in what not to do. I am sure that some insight was given, but overall we were poorly furnished with processes to ensure meeting our children’s behavioral challenges with meaningful measures. For instance, time outs, punishments, and taking away of toys or favored items does not work with children going through such trauma. Here are a few resources that I am currently finishing up, revisiting, or reading for the first time. (The last book I have not read yet, but comes recommended by fellow foster/adoptive parents.) A little warning, The Connected Child has wonderful step by step guides, however, this book frequently presents the worst case scenario. Please don’t be put off by this as I was! I have attempted to read this book on three occasions because of this, but have recently come to the final chapters and will reference it again as needed. It is a valuable resource!

I wish I paced for a marathon…or two…or three. In fostering a child you are opening the doors of your home and the pages of your calendar for an indefinite amount of time. This process frequently takes longer than you or the state anticipates and much longer than case management projects. Foster care is a commitment to a child or a group of children to love, protect, and advocate for them until reunification or a forever family, even if that is your own, is warranted. There are seldom quick fixes and even when those do arise, your heart has been forever changed and expanded in loving and caring for a fellow image-bearer of God. Foster care is a marathon.

I wish I embraced foster community earlier on. Foster care and adoption waters can feel like uncharted territory and lonely shores if we don’t embrace and seek out fellowship with other foster families and prayer from our friends in the faith. Seek prayer and shoulders to lean on. I know we could not have made it in this journey, nor continue to fight the good fight as well as our fervent attempts, apart from the prayers of our fellow foster/adoptive parents and faithful friends and family. Only the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit know every hurt and hurdle we and our families face, but the Body of Christ provides prayer and provisions when we most need them and often when we least expect them. Don’t go this journey alone. We were made for community.

I wish I knew this was a family affair. When you as a married couple, or a single adult, step out in obedience to welcome a child or teen into your home, you are making this decision for the other children in your home, your extended family, your church body, and your friends. I’ve stated this in a previous post, but our two oldest children have fully embraced the foster and adoptive lifestyle and they are richer for it! It has been painful and confusing at times as they abruptly said good bye to their foster brother of 13 months, or as they watched and waited for our youngest son to transition into our home and then months later be legally adopted. Additionally, as they have watched us endure different trials or legal setbacks in our adoption of our youngest daughter. With each child they have had a front row seat as their mother and father, although I credit Ron handling his emotions far better than myself, strain under the stress of advocating for what is best and patiently trusting the system and the sovereignty of God to work the slow wheels of justice in our court system. We knew this was a family decision, but we could never have anticipated what a great impact our decision would make on the children already given to us by God, our extended family, and our church family.

Finally, I leave you with several fictional, middle grade to young adult books that adequately and artfully portray what may be on inside the hearts and minds of children in foster care while simultaneously providing a picture of outward behaviors. These books will help you step into the shoes of children that may look like a child whose heart and face you have not encountered yet, but who is waiting for you on the other side of your family’s obedience.

*Parent warning: The next two books contain a character (the foster mom) which alludes to a previous homosexual lifestyle. I am not recommending you read these to your children, but rather you read them for your own understanding of how your foster child is processing their feelings and the road to establishing a healthy connection.

This last book contains a foster (pre-adoptive) daughter who has autism. I am a licensed speech-language pathologist who previously specialized in treating children on the Autism Spectrum. I was amazed in reading this fictional account at how accurately the author described the character with autism. At the end of the book, I read that the author is an adoptive dad of a child with autism. If you are considering opening your home to a child with autism, this may be a good read for you. Remember this is a fictional account! Children with autism are as different as children without this condition. Just an interesting book and a fascinating read.

Do you have books to add to this list? What do you wish you had known as a first time foster parent?

Faithfully walk where God leads,

 

 

Purchase my book, Thirty Balloons: An Adoption Tale, on Amazon.

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Remembering Our First Foster Care Experience

This week we celebrate the one year anniversary of our youngest son’s adoption day. What an unbelievably arduous and adventurous process that adoption has been for our family…and we are not done yet! But nearly, praise the Lord, we are nearly made one in name, number, and wholeness as this coming Monday we will receive the adoption case manager for our youngest daughter.

However, today I am reminded of where our adoption journey began as we received our first foster son six years ago. I think back on how naïve we were. How ready we felt to change the world little knowing how very much our world would change. To celebrate National Foster Care Awareness Month I have rounded up all my previous posts, posts dating back to 2012 when we were first foster licensed, and conveniently placed them here for you.

I can scarcely remember the family of four we were prior to this grand journey our family embarked on half a dozen years ago. Our two oldest children’s lives have been forever impacted in both good and challenging, but primarily positive ways, due to our choice to foster and adopt. They have known a mom and dad under more stress than they would have had we not invited beautiful children and the state into our home to share it as our own. As you will see in these posts, they were babies themselves, four and two years of age, when we began. Our children came to know Christ in these years. They converted from not only our son and daughter but moreover to our sister and brother in Christ, and they have indeed born their crosses beside us and brandished shield and sword to fight on behalf of the fatherless turned family. I am so grateful for their stance beside their father and me. I can’t wait for you to walk down memory lane with us. May it be a hall of calling for some to join us as you pass our pictures and posts here.

Would you do me a favor? If you know someone or a community of people embarking on their foster journey, would you share this post with them? I think they will find a friend and a familiar narrative to the ones playing out in their minds as they begin journeys of their own.

So take a trip down memory lane with me as you read these posts and follow a mom’s raw and authentic heart’s cry of can we do this, give me eyes to see as you see Lord, and concluding thoughts that changing the world for one child is worth everything. 

Tomorrow’s Race (here)

Pour Another Cup (here)

Simple Addition (here)

Lessons for Everyday (here)

Lord Give Me Eyes to See (here)

I Must Remember This (here)

Confessions of  A First-Time Foster Mom (here)

Seven Books That Encouraged Me Along Our Journey (here)

 

 

You can now purchase my book, Thirty Balloons: An Adoption Tale, on Amazon.

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The Story Behind St. Patrick’s Day

 St. Patrick's Day

I’ve grown up believing St. Patrick’s Day to be a holiday giving every adult in America (and anywhere else the world over) an excuse to drink beer and celebrate life fully donned in Irish green. I mostly dismissed the holiday with the small exception of wearing green so as not to get pinched along with the annual viewing of Darby O’Gill And The Little People. However, little did I know about the man, St. Patrick, missionary to Ireland.

In his autobiography, The The Confessions of St. Patrick, Patrick outlines his history and conversion to Christianity.  Enslaved in Ireland and working in green, Irish pastures as a shepherd, Patrick recalled the truths of the Gospel which had been taught to him during his childhood in Great Britain. Patrick then put his faith and trust in Jesus Christ to save him from his sins. From that point forward, Patrick was a new man in Christ and would live with a new purpose:

Therefore, indeed, I cannot keep silent, nor would it be proper, so many favors and graces the Lord designed to bestow on me in the land of my captivity. For after chastisement from God, and recognizing him, our way to repay him is to exalt him and confess his wonders before every nation under heaven. (The Confessions of St. Patrick)

Once more, green pastures were the home of a man who would lead people to the One True God. Like the young shepherd, David, another disciple was being made to walk in paths of righteousness for His name’s sake. Surely goodness and mercy had followed a young man unaware of the future stretching out before him.

Six years Patrick worked as a shepherd-slave in Ireland before receiving a message from God in a vision to escape back to his homeland. Once safely reunited with family, Patrick dreamed another message from God to return to Ireland as a missionary spreading the good news of the Gospel. Patrick’s life work was revealed. He would later take the oath of a priest and return to the land of his slavery to set people free in the name of Jesus Christ.

Behold over and over again I would briefly set out the words of my confession. I
testify in truthfulness and gladness of heart before God and his holy angels that I never had
any reason, except the Gospel and his promises, ever to have returned to that nation from
which I had previously escaped with difficulty.

(The Confessions of St. Patrick)

This year as you celebrate St. Patrick’s Day, remember the missionary behind the man we know as St. Patrick and the mission which continues.

Below are my favorite picture books to celebrate St. Patrick’s Day with our family. Click here if images aren’t showing up in your browser.

 

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The False Summits of Adoption

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In hiking, a false summit is the portion of the mountain that appears to be the highest point; however, upon reaching it, a mountaineer sees that the summit is higher. Unless prepared for such false summits, the effect on a hiker’s psychological state can be damaging.  So much so, that the she may give up and begin a disappointing descent.

In the summer of 2015, our then family of four hiked the majestic Manitou Incline in Manitou Springs Colorado. It was the most difficult hike to date that we have hiked as a family, and it has proven to provide so many parallels to obstacles we have faced in our adoption journey. The two-thousand feet gain in elevation over a mile at the front end of the hike was almost paralyzing to my psyche. I wasn’t sure we could complete this hike with success, but we ventured forth anyway. The people along the journey were so encouraging. They couldn’t believe that our five and seven year old children were attempting such a hike.

The real kicker came as we were approaching what seemed the top of the incline. Another hiker told us, its a false summit. The top is still a ways up. What? There was more? We had already had to make accommodations for one child to poop while on the trail (that was a first and only so far!) and our other child started off battling a bit of an asthmatic episode and had to be carried for part of the initial portion of the hike. A false summit! Okay, time for a snack and to regroup and prepare ourselves for the remainder of the journey to the summit.

In order to complete this hike we were on all fours, lifting children, encouraging children, and taking multiple breaks. The good news is… we made it! The victory welcome at the top from the other hikers is something our children will never forget; and I am almost positive, some of our fellow hikers will not forget either. In particular one man named Don.

Our adoption journey which we had temporarily laid down for nearly two years was reinitiated after we returned from that family vacation. That summer multiple videos were released which exposed Planned Parenthood for selling the body parts of aborted babies and killing them in such a way as to gain the most profit from their organs. These videos were the tipping point for us to take another step towards adoption. We had fostered for 13 months in the hopes that we would foster to adopt. However, our hearts were so wounded  and raw after the reunification of our foster son, that we knew a time of refreshing and regrouping as a family was necessary. As we all know, the Lord will not let us rest forever. That summer He was calling us back to the work of adoption and orphan care.

In July of 2015 we decided not to recertify as foster parents but to ask that we go straight into the adoption process. In short, much misinformation was communicated to us which has further complicated our adoption journey there on out. However, in September of 2015, through the fostering of a baby by friends of ours, we met a beautiful blonde-headed, blue-eyed boy that we are now in the final stages of adopting. For ten months we daily made multiple phone calls, sent numerous emails, and advocated on behalf of the best interest of this child before he was placed in our home as a pre-adoptive placement in July of 2016.

You may rush by that last sentence; but for us, the living out of those ten months was long and arduous.

With high hopes that the adoption would be finalized in October of this year (2016), we awaited the go ahead from the attorney to schedule the court date. We inched closer to the anticipated court date only to discover that our son was not yet free and clear for adoption, but that a paperwork error had occurred and we were essentially back to a holding period.

Was this a false summit, or merely a strenuous portion of our hike?

With that knowledge in mind, I boarded a plane in late September and went hiking for two days in breathtaking Washington State with a dear friend. No false summits in sight on our hikes, and so far, none our adoption journey.

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Until…

Two days after my return home, we were told that our adoptive son’s mother was pregnant and would give birth to his sibling within a month.

False summit identified.

Stunned, is probably a good word for our reaction to this news. Overjoyed, is the word for our children’s response! Little had we known that Emily, our oldest daughter had been fervently praying for a baby sister. Now, she saw that her dream was within reach.

So today, we find our family expanding–at least at present, and Lord willing forever- to a family of six. Emily was right, the baby is a girl. So as we ascend this (what we perceive to be) the final portion of the adoption summit, let our story be one that encourages and informs you. Few adoptions are expedient, and none are without loss and pain. False summits happen all the time in hiking and perhaps with more frequency in life.

We are looking forward to that mountain-top view. The summit shall surely be worth it. We anticipate sharing in the joy and telling the God moments. To God be the glory!

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Using Books to Cultivate a Heart for Orphans and Adoption

My passion for adoption started growing long before my adult years. It came as a result of the planting of the Holy Spirit, and it also came in the form of story. Books cultivate life experiences in a safe environment and develop compassion and sympathy, passion and purpose, in children prior to their ability to act on those feelings.

As we enter into the cooler, cozier days of November, it is a perfect time to introduce, or perhaps continue the narration of, stories to our children which cultivate a heart for orphans and adoption. There is a lengthy list at Good Reads and here are a few of my favorites to get you started. I tend to recommend these as read aloud books to be shared with the whole family in order to encourage dialogue. Not all of these books are serious, but they all prompt us to think about orphans and begin cultivating a heart for orphan care and adoption in our homes. As with all books we share with our children, please be sure and preview the content to make sure it is age appropriate and sensitive to the specific environment of your child’s history and emotional maturity.

Don’t have children of your own? That’s okay too! As C.S. Lewis stated, A children’s story that can only be enjoyed by children is not a good children’s story in the slightest.

Read Alouds for K4-3rd grade or older:


Read Aloud Books for 3rd and Up:

 

 

Older students (young adult):

 

One more that is on my to-be-read pile and was recently highlighted in this week’s episode of the Read Aloud Revival Podcast is:

Which books have you used to bring awareness of orphan care and adoption into your life and home? What books would you add to this list? I have always gravitated to books about orphans and in the coming weeks will unfold as much as I am presently allowed about our current adoption journey. Stay tuned!

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15 Action Steps to Take to Promote A Culture of Life After You Have Prayed


 

15 Action Steps To Take To Promote Life After You Have Prayed

Many of us are dumbfounded, to say the least, after viewing any or all of the 10 videos put out by the Center for Medical Progress which exposes the money making arm of Planned Parenthood. Planned Parenthood and Stem Express are making money off the sale of aborted baby body parts. This news leaves many of us asking, what can we do to put an end to this barbarity? Here are 15 action steps for you to consider and take after you pray for an end to abortion, a defunding of Planned Parenthood, and a respect for life from conception to grave.

1. Give to and/ or volunteer at your local pregnancy center.

2. Call your congressman and senator to petition them to vote to defund Planned Parenthood and legislate an end to abortion.

3.”Adopt” a single mom and her kids.

4. Foster a child. The difference a Christian family can make in pointing children in need to Jesus cannot be measured in this lifetime.

5. Adopt. It is a slow and painful process and you are not guaranteed your child will walk with Jesus. However, you are committed to making a disciple and ending a family cycle of drug abuse, domestic violence, and a host of other problems that plague our society.

6. Vote your moral convictions and not your pocketbook.

7. Spread the gospel and let the seeds bear the fruit that they will. We will not reap what we have not sewn.

8.Make disciples within your church who make disciples. Moms and dads change the cultural fabric of our world one child at a time. For good or for evil.

9. Volunteer with children in the foster care system, a local school, or an orphanage. Mentors change lives by the power of Jesus.

10. Give to organizations like the Center for Medical Progress who expose the truth of abortion and the sale of baby body parts for “medical research.” Or, help fund a friend’s adoption. Many times families who want to adopt don’t because of the money.

11. Educate yourself with the facts. Read and research for the truth. You will likely not hear the facts nor the truth on the evening news or in the New York Times.

12. Do for one mom, teen, child, or orphan what you would do for all.

13. Get creative! Use your artistic abilities of paint, pen, or graphic design to get people’s attention and point them towards life.

14. Include your kids in ministering to the poor, elderly, and the orphan. Developing compassionate Christ-centered lives starts early.

15. Run for office and be involved in politics. We need godly leaders in every area of local, state, and federal government.

What would you add to this list? I welcome your thoughts.

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Liberty, Freedom, and Love

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For, brethren, ye have been called unto liberty; only use not liberty for an occasion to the flesh, but by love serve one another. 

For all the law is fulfilled in one word, even in this: Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself.

But if ye bite and devour one another, take heed  that ye be not consumed one of another.

Galatians 5:13-15, KJV

Liberty…freedom.

These words provoke feelings of patriotism in U.S. citizens, moreover, they elicit relief and celebration in Christian brothers and sisters. For those who live in free countries their hearts can swell at the mention of liberty, but how much more so those who have been set free and liberated from sin and death for all eternity?

This week’s protests in Baltimore and surrounding major U.S. cities have evoked different responses from citizens, news correspondents, and politicians alike. One will cry oppression and the next thug. Next the two will mull over the meaning behind the words and continue to put forth his or her views and, if we are lucky, actual facts concerning the situation at hand. Meanwhile, vandalism escalates and police are told to stand down and forget their training which would provide protection to the private citizens and business owners. Gang members gather and pursue face-time as the press seeks to bring us the latest on the breaking news in Baltimore.

Liberty…freedom.

Liberty and freedom ring loudest when the citizens are self-governing their moral and ethical obligations to their neighbors from a contrite heart who knows that it bears the image of God. The Imago Dei. Further that they will give an account of all their actions to their Creator.

Our society has fallen so far off the Biblical path that we are ignorant of the fact that we are created by a Someone, for a purpose, with an eternity after death. Insteadwe have a society largely comprised of people who believe they came from nothing, are going nowhere, and are held to no one’s standards or moral code than the one they choose for themselves.

Liberty and freedom are found at the threshold of obedience and discipline, not the scattered remains of crashed windows and looted goods. 

Government funds and legislation are not the answers to the problems in Baltimore, nor across the U.S. God is the answer to the problems. Once each neighbor realizes that he or she is created by God, bear His image, is held to His standards, will be judged by His premises, and can be saved and liberated from sin by His grace, then prayerfully,  they will live for His glory and obey His commands.

Our response as Christians to all the headlines of today’s news is evangelism and disciple making. Simply put, we are to fulfill the great commission and be ambassadors of Christ in our homes, our neighborhoods, and our places of work. We are to bear the image of Christ and spread His message on all street corners of America and the world.

The inner men must be changed before the outer actions of man become civil and just. Good Christians make for good citizens and good leaders. We must love God, and love our neighbor as ourselves, live within the law, and spread the gospel to stop the biting and devouring of one another in our country.

Another pertinent matter for prayer: in June, the Supreme Court of the United States will make a ruling concerning same sex marriage. Please be in prayer for the upholding of the biblical definition of marriage. You can follow the story from a much more knowledgeable source on legal matters than myself, Dr. Russell Moore, at his website (click here).

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Parting Words: At the Tomb

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“Mary.”

She turned and said to him in Aramaic, “Rabboni!” (which means Teacher).

Jesus said to her, “Do not cling to me, for I have not yet ascended to the Father; but go to my brothers and say to them, ‘I am ascending to my Father and your Father, to my God and your God.’ “

Mary Magdalene went and announced to the disciples, “I have seen the Lord”—and that he had said these things to her. (John 20:16-18)

Mary Magdalene was soaked with sadness as she approached the tomb. She had come to anoint Jesus’ body with spices, but could not cease her weeping as she mourned the loss of her Lord and Teacher.  Finding the stone rolled away and his grave empty, Mary knelt in the tomb anguished and assuming someone had taken Jesus’ body. Imagine what overwhelming joy was hers when she saw and recognized the risen Savior as he called her name, “Mary.”

Isn’t it comforting when someone close to you calls you by name? When someone you love and, or respect calls you by name without asking something of you, it prompts a feeling of being known and valued. Mary must have felt such feelings a hundred times over.

However, as Mary undoubtedly embraces Jesus, the Lord asks her not to cling to Him, but go and tell His disciples that Jesus is returning to the Father. Oh…and she also tells them that He is alive!

There are multiple opinions by theologians and scholars as to what Jesus meant when He asked Mary to refrain from clinging to Himself. I encourage you to go and study those for yourself. However, what the text is not saying is that Jesus was a spirit at this point. He was fully risen with a new human body–his resurrected body–which bore the marks of his crucifixion. As accounted in Luke 24:

As they were talking about these things, Jesus himself stood among them, and said to them, “Peace, to you!”  But they were startled and frightened and thought they saw a spirit. And he said to them, “Why are you troubled, and why do doubts arise in your hearts? See my hands and my feet, that it is I myself. Touch me, and see. For a spirit does not have flesh and bones as you see that I have.” …“Have you anything here to eat?” They gave him a piece of broiled fish, and he took it and ate before them.(Luke 24:36-39, 41-42)

Jesus had risen in the flesh and Mary Magdalene was the first of over 500 that he would appear to. Mary, overcome with joy and emotion, wanted to worship her Savior and Lord, her Teacher and friend. However, Jesus wanted her to spread the word to His disciples because the mission was just beginning, and the advancement of the Kingdom was at hand.

May this Easter find you accepting Jesus’ words to the disciples and to Mary Magdalene: Peace be with you…go and tell.

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A Letter to My Younger Self on Adoption

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I know you will remember a time in your childhood when you wondered if you were adopted. Never mind that you look like your parents and laugh at your own jokes exactly like they both do; but, just the same, you will wonder if you were adopted and never told. You will naturally gravitate towards books about orphans.

This is the planting of a seed.

Next, you will have a desire to adopt. You will make this a topic of priority with your fiancé and subsequent husband. Being the Type A planner that you are, even a few months into trying to start a family, you will again give adoption consideration and state, “If we can’t conceive on our own we will adopt.”

This is the watering of a dream.

Two kids, and a few years later, you will read Kisses from Katie and determine that if a twenty-something woman from Tennessee can adopt and foster children on her own in a foreign country, then surely you can foster one child on the way to adoption.

This is sunlight upon fertile soil.

Next you will complete the nearly 10 months of work that it takes to train and paper-approve families to foster. It will be a never ending cycle to prove your family fit to parent a child not your own. You will complain and you will wonder why on earth it will take so much to do a good deed.

This is the breaking forth of a seed out of the dark soil into the sun. 

At last, when you thought the day would never come, you will get the call to pick up your foster son. You will go expectantly with his Thomas the Train backpack and snuggle animal from Target. Then you will meet a child who your heart will forever call son. He will be blonde and beautiful and wild and covered in spaghetti sauce and you will have many long days ahead of you.

This will be the stalk rising from the ground.

For 13 months you will labor, love, and advocate on this child’s behalf. You will sing to him, Jesus Loves Me, and do all the things a mother does. You will watch every single person around you love this little boy like he was your very own son—because in many ways he forever will be your son. You will train him in the way that he should go and pray on his behalf.

This will be the wheat ripe for harvest.  

Finally, at the end of 13 months, you will say good-bye to your little boy as he is reunited with his biological family. It will be one of the hardest and perhaps the most impactful goodbyes you will ever say.

This will be the kernel falling to the ground. 

Months will pass, tears will fall, a new normal will encompass your days, and you will wonder how you ever did it all. You will wonder: can I ever do that again? The answer will not come right away–at least not the answer you think others will expect. But in all the waiting, you will say: Loving another child changed my lifemaybe the world in some small way. Then you will tell his story, your story, so that other families may open their homes to make the difference in the life of a child.

Truly, truly, I say to you, unless a grain of wheat falls into the earth and dies, it remains alone; but if it dies, it bears much fruit.

John 12:24

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The Spirit of Giving

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There is a joy that accompanies generosity…

A blessed intimate abiding between the redeemed and the Redeemer who never drops even meager offerings.

In the giving there is a birth which overshadows the death of temporary treasures.

Meager offerings may even be the Father’s favorite kind when we offer all we have. He loves to multiple the offerings of the humble. Consider the five loaves and the two fish. He used a young boy’s simple lunch to feed over 5,000 hungry men–besides women and children.

What if we chose not to give because we thought our offering too little or too simple to be of much use? 

What if instead of concerning ourselves with the size of our offering, we humbled ourselves to give our meagerness or our much cheerfully?

With eyes set on eternity, the cheerful giver cannot wait to drop her donation in the plate, her gift in the box, her package in the mail for she considers the smiles and prayers of thanksgiving waiting on the other side.

The cheerful giver woos man to draw near to Christ as she follows His commandments:

Feed, clothe, give, go, take care…

Knowing  that she cannot out-give the Father, for He has already given of His Son, the cheerful giver will share her abundance or her slight understanding that she is a mere steward and God is the ruler and controller of all things.

The cheerful giver has learned that it is in the opening of the hand, not in the clenching of the fist, that there is life.

May your hands be open and the gifts be plentifully given.

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