A Letter to My Younger Self on Adoption

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I know you will remember a time in your childhood when you wondered if you were adopted. Never mind that you look like your parents and laugh at your own jokes exactly like they both do; but, just the same, you will wonder if you were adopted and never told. You will naturally gravitate towards books about orphans.

This is the planting of a seed.

Next, you will have a desire to adopt. You will make this a topic of priority with your fiancé and subsequent husband. Being the Type A planner that you are, even a few months into trying to start a family, you will again give adoption consideration and state, “If we can’t conceive on our own we will adopt.”

This is the watering of a dream.

Two kids, and a few years later, you will read Kisses from Katie and determine that if a twenty-something woman from Tennessee can adopt and foster children on her own in a foreign country, then surely you can foster one child on the way to adoption.

This is sunlight upon fertile soil.

Next you will complete the nearly 10 months of work that it takes to train and paper-approve families to foster. It will be a never ending cycle to prove your family fit to parent a child not your own. You will complain and you will wonder why on earth it will take so much to do a good deed.

This is the breaking forth of a seed out of the dark soil into the sun. 

At last, when you thought the day would never come, you will get the call to pick up your foster son. You will go expectantly with his Thomas the Train backpack and snuggle animal from Target. Then you will meet a child who your heart will forever call son. He will be blonde and beautiful and wild and covered in spaghetti sauce and you will have many long days ahead of you.

This will be the stalk rising from the ground.

For 13 months you will labor, love, and advocate on this child’s behalf. You will sing to him, Jesus Loves Me, and do all the things a mother does. You will watch every single person around you love this little boy like he was your very own son—because in many ways he forever will be your son. You will train him in the way that he should go and pray on his behalf.

This will be the wheat ripe for harvest.  

Finally, at the end of 13 months, you will say good-bye to your little boy as he is reunited with his biological family. It will be one of the hardest and perhaps the most impactful goodbyes you will ever say.

This will be the kernel falling to the ground. 

Months will pass, tears will fall, a new normal will encompass your days, and you will wonder how you ever did it all. You will wonder: can I ever do that again? The answer will not come right away–at least not the answer you think others will expect. But in all the waiting, you will say: Loving another child changed my lifemaybe the world in some small way. Then you will tell his story, your story, so that other families may open their homes to make the difference in the life of a child.

Truly, truly, I say to you, unless a grain of wheat falls into the earth and dies, it remains alone; but if it dies, it bears much fruit.

John 12:24

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100 Little Gratitudes

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 Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful. – Colossians 3:15

Thank you.  Two simple words which can have a significant  impact not only on the receiver but on the giver of the words as well.  The one who is thankful is choosing to shift his focus from that which  he does not have or cannot change to what he has, is blessed with, and enjoying.

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.- Phillipians 4:6

When I pause to reflect on my present and past blessings from God, the giver of all good gifts (James 1:17), my mind is more clearly focused on that which I should truly petition and request in prayer. I am more apt to see life in the proper perspective.

I was challenged several years ago to write a list of 100 things that I was thankful for.  It was truly a sweet time of reflection to think on at least 100 people, circumstances, and experiences for which I was thankful.  I hope that this simple exercise in gratitude will spur you to do likewise.

Graciousness is caught in addition to being taught.  I realize more and more that my actions speak so much louder than my words.  I want to live out a life that is authentically gracious and obedient to our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, so that I am modeling a life that I want my children to pursue.

Thank you from the bottom of my heart for taking time out of your full day to read this blog.

Here is my list in no particular order.

  1. for life
  2. my husband and best friend, Ron
  3. our children
  4. my parents
  5. my wonderful sister and her husband
  6. all of  my in laws
  7. my nieces and nephews
  8. our family’s collective health
  9. salvation in Jesus Christ
  10. forgiveness
  11. the ability to read
  12. access to almost any book in the world
  13. my Bible
  14. a good nights sleep
  15. our home
  16. two cars (yes, we now are a two car family once again)
  17. fresh fruit and vegetables
  18. my church
  19. friends
  20. furniture
  21. our ministry together
  22. my gym
  23. Emily’s artwork
  24. quiet time in prayer and Bible study
  25. throwing the football with Joshua
  26. toothpaste and a toothbrush
  27. water and warm showers
  28. access to good healthcare
  29. Target, Walmart, Ross, and Michael’s
  30. mercy
  31. hope
  32. a future
  33. my grandparents and extended family
  34. autumn (my favorite time of year)
  35. mentors in the faith
  36. a baby boy on the way for friends who have tried for seven years to have a baby
  37. hiking
  38. kayaking
  39. camping
  40. mail and packages from Nana…and Amazon
  41. God’s provision!
  42. education and the ability to learn
  43. soy vanilla lattes
  44. Costco
  45. time to spend with those we love
  46. freedom
  47. missions
  48. road trips
  49. Jesus’ unending pursuit of my heart
  50. Jefri and Jasmine (our Compassion children)
  51. a camera and photographs of memories
  52. a dining room table to eat at with my family and friends
  53. a bed
  54. clothes and shoes that fit
  55. writing opportunities
  56. a purpose
  57. good music
  58. vegan mayonnaise
  59. dancing
  60. chiropractic care
  61. naps
  62. holidays
  63. protein powder
  64. Auburn University and my experience there
  65. University of South Florida and all that I learned
  66. Pinterest
  67. groceries and money to pay for them
  68. a washer and dryer
  69. wifi and a computer
  70. the Grand Canyon- hiked it four times and it never gets old
  71. science
  72. Classical Conversations
  73. homeschooling
  74. organization
  75. Emily learning to read!!!
  76. electricty and indoor plumbing
  77. travel
  78. children’s books
  79. my memory
  80. thrift stores and consignment shops
  81. my weaknesses because when I am weak then He is strong
  82. Chick Fila, Chipolte, and Olive Garden
  83. second chances and lessons learned the first time
  84. that first impressions aren’t always accurate (Amen?)
  85. laughter
  86. the beach
  87. the moutains
  88. my coffee maker
  89. Christian apologetics resources
  90. funny YouTube videos
  91. my workout playlist
  92. Colorado Pinion Pine Cones (pictured above)
  93. mom’s red velvet cake
  94. Christmas movies
  95. Christmas tree farms
  96. flowers
  97. the sun and moon
  98. Easter
  99. free will
  100. love

 Now, our God, we give you thanks, and praise your glorious name. ~1 Chronicles 29:13

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Providing for the Poor

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As it pertains to responding to the requests of the poor and homeless, it seems we have questions as to the right way in which to respond. I wrote at iBelieve about one such positive experience I had. Please join me there today as we explore this topic approaching the Thanksgiving season when opportunities to give abound.

Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. ~Matthew 7:7

My family was eating lunch at a local restaurant amidst dark, black clouds threatening an approaching thunderstorm. I glanced out the window to survey the progression of the storm when I saw a man ride up on his bicycle. It was apparent he was homeless by his unkempt appearance and his beard that hadn’t seen a trim in many months, perhaps years.

I looked at this man and thought: what a hard life. Not knowing where the next meal will come from, not sure of where to spend the night or pass the time until storm blows over. I remarked the same to my husband and his response surprised me, maybe he looks at us the same way. I was stunned. What if my husband was right? Maybe the homeless man sees the unrealistic expectations that I cling to, the purchases I make and the hours that were necessary to work in order to make those purchases. Maybe he looks at my choices to take care of two children and prepare their three meals–and seemingly equal three snacks–a day and think: that’s too much work.

Please head over to iBelieve to finish reading this post and join me in the discussion. (Click here.)

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For Everything There Is A Season

For everything there is a season

 

For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven (Ecclesiastes 3:1)

I feel a changing of the seasons. A time for me to keep silent as surely as there is a time for me to speak. I sense that a season away from blogging is in order. A time of refreshing. God is allowing me a season off to spend quality time with my children unhindered by a Tuesday/Friday writing schedule. Time which will allow an occasional skipping of naps to go on an expedition (thank you Christopher Robin); this break will mean the post I needed to write won’t be late. Writing two times a week doesn’t seem like much when I type it, but compiled on a list of other to do’s both maternal, matrimonial, ministerial, and homeschooling (too bad that can’t start with an “m” ) it is much.

Even Jesus need time away.

With that said, I am taking off the entire month of August and will determine if my break will continue in September and October at the end of the month. I believe that it will be a three month break which will pinpoint me coming back in November and December to celebrate our Savior’s birth with you. God will let me know once I have been obedient to take the break I feel is necessary. Being a naturally driven person, it is hard for me to follow through with a break. I have almost talked myself out of it several times over the last week after I made the decision.

I pray that my ministry here is effective in the hearts and lives of those of you who read these posts; that these words I type would be an encouragement to keep fighting the good fight and to arm yourself with the belt of Truth and the breastplate of righteousness and to seek the eternal in the everyday. Thank you for your prayers for me  and my family as well. I will be re-posting past posts over at iBelieve.com during that time so feel free to join me there every Tuesday if you can’t stand the time away. (I almost completely say that tongue-in-cheek!)

May our days apart be a time to plant, to laugh, to dance, to build up, and a time to gather stones–may God’s intended time be beneficial to you while we are apart.

See you in the fall,

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Getting Ready as in the Days of Noah

Getting Ready Noah

The Bible tells us–even more specifically Jesus tells us–that in the last days it will be as in the time of Noah:

Just as it was in the days of Noah, so will it be in the days of the Son of Man. They were eating and drinking and marrying and being given in marriage, until the day when Noah entered the ark, and the flood came and destroyed them all. Likewise, just as it was in the days of Lot—they were eating and drinking, buying and selling, planting and building, but on the day when Lot went out from Sodom, fire and sulfur rained from heaven and destroyed them all— so will it be on the day when the Son of Man is revealed. On that day, let the one who is on the housetop, with his goods in the house, not come down to take them away, and likewise let the one who is in the field not turn back. Remember Lot’s wife. Whoever seeks to preserve his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life will keep it. (Luke 17:26-33, ESV)

God determined to destroy His creation and created because of the rampant sin on the earth.

The LORD saw that the wickedness of man was great in the earth, and that every intention of the thoughts of his heart was only evil continually. And the LORD regretted that he had made man on the earth, and it grieved him to his heart. So the LORD said, “I will blot out man whom I have created from the face of the land, man and animals and creeping things and birds of the heavens, for I am sorry that I have made them.” But Noah found favor in the eyes of the LORD. (Genesis 6:5-8)

The sins of our day are not unlike the sins of Noah’s day; in fact, sin has been the same since the days of Adam and Eve after the fall. Murder, lying, adultery, covetousness, sexual immorality, and idolatry to name a few. The sins of our times are not unique to our times; they are, however, more rampant and championed–like the days of Noah.

Once God gave Noah the command to build the Ark, Noah knew that the time men had to repent and turn to God was limited. Scripture leads me to believe that Noah preached repentance and faith in God to save those who would listen. The people of his day decided they would mock Noah and his God and not heed the warning of impending doom.

God protected and preserved human life and animal life on the Ark in his abundant grace. God provided a way out–a wooden ark. Today, God continues to provide a way out of damnation and judgment: Jesus Christ. Just as the Ark provided the only way to survive God’s judgment of sin by water, Jesus provides the only way to salvation when we face God’s  judgment of fire. (See 1 Corinthians 3:13 for the believers, and 2 Peter 3:10 for the destruction of the earth by fire.)

For the time is coming when people will not endure sound teaching, but having itching ears they will accumulate for themselves teachers to suit their own passions, and will turn away from listening to the truth and wander off into myths. As for you, always be sober-minded, endure suffering, do the work of an evangelist, fulfill your ministry. (2 Timothy 4:3-5)

I believe we are living once again in the days of Noah. I believe that everything we are seeing on a national and international stage is preparing the way of the Lord as in the days of John the Baptist. That is why it is so very important for us to know the Scriptures so that we are wise unto salvation and prepared to heed the coming of the Lord Jesus. Noah’s Ark may seem archaic, or like a children’s story, but in reality it is a pivotal picture of what is to come.

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Pinterest Perfect

Pinterest Perfect

I recently had a woman from my home town ask me if I cooked all the recipes that I pin on Pinterest. I had to laugh! She was almost convinced that I mange to homeschool my children, write a blog, and actually try my hand at the pins I pin on Pinterest.

First of all, I was flattered. However, I was also a little unnerved because I somehow managed to give off the impression that I may have achieved what the rest of humanity has yet to do: have it all together. Let me put your ponderings to rest: I am not that good.

Anytime I cook real meals for dinner more than three nights in a week, I joke that I am in the running for wife and mother of the year awards. I do not believe that any of my friends will accuse me of being Sandra Lee or Ma Ingalls! Secondly, my staple meals are black beans and rice with guacamole or homemade chicken salad with Vegenaise mayo. Not quite a Pinterest perfect spread now is it?

Would you join me at iBelieve for the rest of the post? I would be so grateful. (Click here.)

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*Fantastic and fun photo by my husband Ron.

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Love Never Fails

Love Never Fails

A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another. By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.~John 13:34-35

If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. 1 Corinthians 13:1

If I am in fellowship with Christ, then shouldn’t I demonstrate love in action? Even with the provocations of life? Instead, I sometimes, perhaps more often, bend the opposite way of love, and so goes the clanging pieces of broken people clashing loud… the absence of love.

I have been hurt because of an absence of love..in action, word or deed. Past experiences, even recently past, help beckon me to compassionately pursue love as my first reaction…at least they did today.

Earlier today, I arrived early for my appointment at my doctor’s office. The receptionist first said, “Did you make an appointment?” My heart sank, Oh no, they didn’t put my appointment in their system, I thought.

Seconds later, “You are not in our system, only your husband.” Now she’s telling me, essentially, she has no idea who I am or why I am there. Wait, it get’s better. Next, she seems to be looking under the wrong insurance for my coverage and says, “Your insurance says it isn’t in effect.” Suffice it to say, I wanted to ask her if it was her first day on the job. It was with  my most loving attempt reacting kindly when I didn’t shout, or even say, “I’ve been a patient here for 6 years and I made an appointment! Find me in your system!”

Love is kind and patient. It treats others with respect and knows when to take a time out. I decided to leave while I still possessed the grace to do so… kindly.

I knew that my children and fellow patients were watching.  I knew that this woman was made by God and in His image. It wasn’t entirely, or perhaps at all, her fault she had no proof that I had ever been a patient there. So I consciously made an effort to be respectful to show compassion and love.

Mind you, it wasn’t that I provided a perfect example of love (my children heard the phone conversation that I had with their father afterwords in which I said what was really on my mind) but rather in that instance (and most of the phone conversation)  I didn’t say something that I would later have to apologize for.

The Bible conveys what love is in 1 Corinthians 13. Love is patient and kind. It is content and humble. Love seeks to forgive and be forgiven. Love shows honor and acts with respect. Love pursues and proclaims truth. Love endures while it keeps no record of wrongs. Love protects, trusts, hopes, and perseveres. Perhaps perseverance is one of the more difficult pursuits in love. Love never fails.

God alone possess and expresses perfect love in abundance and without fail. That is why we are grace chasers. We need His grace and abundant love to truly live and to love well. His perfect love is expressed perfectly in the triune relationship between the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit–and next, to His creation.

To sustain my relationship with others I require the love of God as infused by daily filling of the Holy Spirit. The filling that I should seek and lean into through prayer and the reading and memorization of Scripture. Additionally, love is learned and sustained in community. Love must be lived out with others to truly be love. Love is not something that can be fully learned or expressed in isolation because love costs. It would not be precious if it didn’t.  

Whether preaching the gospel in our home, to each other as members of the body of Christ, or to the lost world, love is the essential key for others to see Christ in us. We must convey love towards people both within the Body and without in order to know that we truly believe what we profess.

Jerry Bridges perfectly illustrates the effects of the absence of love in the following story:

I remember hearing of one university student of whom it was said, “He can lead people to Christ, but no one wants to room with him.” Whether he could, given that immaturity of character, truly lead people to a saving knowledge of Christ may be questioned by some. But whether he could or not, it is true that a great big dose of love was needed to make him truly effective. ~ True Community: The Biblical Practice of Koinonia

Love is the most essential ingredient. Period. Without love we are not what we claim to be. To live apart from love is to live apart from Christ. That is a state of the lost.

I need more of Christ because I need to love others more.

I need to love others more because I love Jesus Christ.

Because the Holy Spirit lives within me, and the greatest act of love and forgiveness has been afforded me at Calvary, I am free to love even when it costs me convenience, pain, or even rejection.

Because our love never truly falls to the ground– Jesus receives and accepts all of our meager offerings to love and He always returns our love even with others do not–we are free to risk being rejected because He knew rejection.

We can forgive those who have rejected our love offerings because we have certainly rejected the love of God at one point or another. This knowledge of His continued love in the face of our rejection reminds us how very much we have been forgiven and the gift of His love–grace.

Love never fails. Love never fails to give. Love never fails to give of itself. Love never fails to forgive.

Love…never…fails. 

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What a Difference a Year Makes

It is incredible what a difference a year makes isn’t it?

Last year at this time we were a foster-family to one incredibly endearing little boy. I frequently pounded Dunkin Donuts coffee with cream and sugar, and don’t forget the turbo shot, and we were a one-car family.

Fast-forward almost exactly one year and we are not currently fostering; I discovered in January that I am allergic to sugar, dairy, gluten, eggs, oatmeal; there goes the usual Dunkin; and, as of yesterday, my husband is the proud owner of an old-man, second-hand, Buick (complete with blue leather interior!). What a difference indeed!

Exactly one year ago I wrote a post at iBelieve entitled, Man Does Not Live On Coffee Alone. I hope you will read it below. Much has changed in the year since its original publication.

I continue to enjoy coffee twice daily–I drink it black now, or with a spoon-full of coconut oil added (don’t gag!). One thing always remains the same; the Word that sustained me then is the Word that continues to sustain me now. No matter what changes this year has brought for you, consider the words an older and wiser friend told me years ago:

He wouldn’t have brought you this far to leave you now.

God writes a story with, and of, our lives. He is outside of time so that the choices we make are not controlled by Him, but rather He sees us past, present, and future and knows the ways that we should and the ways we will take. He sustains us better than any substance ever could.

Please join me, perhaps again,or for the first time, as I recount how man does not live on coffee alone.

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The morning started out like most.  The alarm signaled the start to another day and, of course, I hit the snooze.  As the second reminder sounded, I obliged and turned the alarm off. Feet to the floor, my hand turned the worn knob, and an exhilarating smell greeted me like a welcome guest.

Ah, coffee.

This particular day brought the flavor-rich coffee to the desired boldness with the absolute perfect portion of added hazelnut creamer. Finishing off the last sip with a reading of multiple Psalms from my daily Bible reading plan – the one that I seem to always be behind on – I managed to complete my morning breakfast and Bible ritual before the kids awoke. Success!

I poured another cup, threw on my gym clothes, brushed my teeth and headed out the door to my local women’s gym. With three children and one car, my husband and I have set days to work out. I look forward to my turn each time.

Join me over at iBelieve today to finish reading this post. Click here.

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All Hands on Deck

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This Sunday I have the awesome honor and great responsibility of teaching my first church-wide apologetics class.

I can’t make that sound as daunting and wonderful to you as I would like to. In world importance it is trifle, but in personal and perhaps lasting change it is big. First off, it is a wonderful opportunity to share some of the creation science apologetics that I have studied for 3-5 years. (Really, anytime you or I have the chance to teach it is a culmination of all that God has taught us up to that particular point in life.)  It could prompt lasting change if it encourages even one person to study in order to  enable them to defend their faith better and give a reason for the hope that they have.

Conversely, it is daunting because there is soooooo much information to choose from and therefore a great deal that I aim to communicate accurately. Additionally, our church is very blessed to have a pastor on our staff with a doctorate in apologetics. He is a great teacher who sets the bar high and I have learned a great deal from him. In other words, this isn’t the class’s first rodeo and they will spot a weakling. (Smile.)

That being the case, I had decided a month ago that for VBS I would choose a behind the scenes, low responsibility type job as it starts the Monday directly after my Sunday class. Well, as it turns out, VBS was short on Bible teachers and I changed my volunteer status to teach four-year-old Bible. Part of the responsibilities of the Bible teacher is room decoration. Also, I still needed a co-teacher as volunteers were sparse. I turned to my community group and sought out help. Wouldn’t you know that a co-teacher committed out of my group as well as three ladies to decorate the room?!

Needless to say, these are full weeks for me and I want to give a public praise to God for providing opportunities and the means to meet the demands of these opportunities.  It is remarkable that even though the three ladies decorating the four-year-old Bible room have week-day jobs and can’t volunteer for the face to face VBS time, they are able to contribute to make the classroom environment fun.

What about you? What ministry opportunities are coming your way? How can you enlist the help of friends and sisters/brothers in Christ to help meet Kingdom needs?

I am so grateful that when God calls us He also provides the means to meet the tasks.

This weekend I will post a list of apologetic resources for the participants of Sunday’s class to access. They are for you as well! The resources are geared to further equip us to answer questions about creation, dinosaurs, and the Flood. Be on the lookout for the list and for upcoming posts that will cover the teaching time.

Thanks, as always, for taking time to stop by This Temporary Home. Please read this post with grace as I am certain I have mixed tenses throughout…and yet, I am leaving it that way. Yikes! 🙂

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Gratitude Prompts a Change in Perspective

Gratitude Prompts a Change in Perspective

Have you ever found yourself in a new place in life and completely nostalgic for the comforts of familiarity?

A few short months after Ron and I were married we moved to his childhood home in Florida. Having lived solely in Alabama for the first 21 years of my life (18 of those in my small hometown boasting two red lights and a McDonald’s) I was excited about the move, but unaware of the challenges of change.

Moving to the beach intrigued me. Continuing my studies in communication disorders at a new university excited me. However, I was unaware of the differences in culture, accent, and even socioeconomic differences that awaited.

When change happens we crave the small, steady denominators that made home home.

I missed knowing the cashiers at the grocery store, seeing people in Walmart with whom I attended school, and familiar faces at church that held common memories in time and space. It took me many years to embrace my new identity as a Floridian.

I was focused on yesterday and the hopes of one day which would bring a return move home to Alabama. I had little desire to explore the greatness of the area in which God had placed me.

Unfortunately my inability to embrace the changes in my life perhaps robbed me of a portion of present joy.

Today, almost 12 years later, I love the area I live in. My family enjoys the recreational parks, habitat preserves, the beach, and the museums and sites near our home.

Within the last three years I have often wondered why I spent much time and energy trying to make my current home more like my childhood and less like the newness of life that God had placed me in. I missed opportunities to enjoy God’s creation in my own backyard because I was longing for the backyard 500 miles away in which I grew up.

Are you in a new location be it geographical, vocational, or missional? Maybe the novelty of your experience leaves you longing for the familiarity of yesterday. Take heart my friend! There is good to be gained from every new venture. Look around you today and purpose to find a good to be grateful for. Gradually your gratitude will give you a change in perspective. Your eyes will see not as a pilgrim longing to turn back, but as one set to forge ahead to the lasting pilgrimage of the celestial city. (See Pilgrim’s Progress)

*an edited repost

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