Expectations of Perfection

28 May

Hannah's Flower Photo 3
“Have I mislead them?” The question resonated in my mind shortly after posting Looking Back Over a Decade. In this post I wrote, “Perfection is a lie and a snare. ‘Be holy as I am holy.’ Not, ‘Be perfect as I am perfect.’” However, in Matthew 5:48 Jesus instructs his disciples, “You therefore must be perfect as your heavenly father is perfect.” Leviticus 19:2, Deuteronomy 18:13, and 1Peter 1:16 say, “Be holy as I am holy” and “You shall be blameless before the Lord your God.”

Are being perfect and holy the same thing?

From studying these scriptures I would answer, “Yes.” In Matthew the word perfect aligns with complete or mature, blameless. The Commentary Critical and Explanatory on the Whole Bible teaches that Jesus is not speaking on “degrees of excellence, but of the kind of excellence which was to distinguish His disciples and characterize His kingdom.”

Not that I have already obtained this or am already perfect, but I press on to make it my own, because Christ Jesus has made me his own. Brothers, I do not consider that I have made it my own. But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for  the prize of the upward  call of God in Christ Jesus. Let  those of us who are mature think this way, and if in anything  you think otherwise,  God will reveal that also to you. Only  let us hold true to what we have attained. ~Philippians 3:12-16 (emphasis mine)

We may be tempted to reason, “Why should I work for something I cannot obtain?” First, Christ commanded it. Secondly, our idea of perfect is misconstrued.

Today in the western world perfection looks contrary to living a perfect and holy life. Perfection exudes an image that we have it all, can do it all, and can be the best while doing it. I am a frustrated perfectionist on so many levels. I know the exhausting disappointment that striving for perfection brings. The truth is that the mark for me is unattainable and my attempts silly. I am willing to wager it is the same for you.

Being perfect, holy, complete is a working out of obedience and a working in of the Holy Spirit in our lives. Striving ceases at the cross. Obedient abiding (John 15:5) is the road that leads to a blameless, holy, mature life. That is what our Father calls… perfect.

For the times when our inner landscape is less than our outward appearances and attitudes of holiness His blood covers our sins and His Spirit is waiting to work steadfastness into our souls.

God Himself truly is the “standard” of righteousness. If these individuals are to be righteous, they must be as God is, “perfect,” that is, mature (teleioi) or holy. Murder, lust, hate, deception, and retaliation obviously do not characterize God. He did not lower His standard to accommodate humans; instead He set forth His absolute holiness as the standard. Though this standard can never be perfectly met by man himself, a person who by faith trusts in God enjoys His righteousness being reproduced in his life.~ The Bible Knowledge Commentary

Shall we take a walk to His cross?

Click here to view this video in your reader.

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Planting Wheat Not Beanstalks

21 May

The well-known fairy-tale of Jack and the Beanstalk tells of a young boy who sells the family’s last cow for three magic beans.

While Jack’s beanstalk reaches the heavens in overnight success simultaneously gaining him adventure and wealth it does not provide him lasting value. Yes, he obtains a hen that lays golden eggs and a harp that plays beautiful music, but his adventure is quickly ended and only his temporary needs met.

What of Jack’s soul?

In planting the seed of God’s word in our children’s hearts we desire to plant a kernel of wheat that will one day produce “much fruit.”

Truly, truly, I say to you,  unless a grain of wheat falls into the earth and dies, it remains alone; but if it dies, it bears much fruit. 25 Whoever loves his life loses it, and  whoever  hates his life in this world will keep it for eternal life. 26 If anyone serves me, he must  follow me; and  where I am, there will my servant be also.  If anyone serves me,  the Father will honor him. ~John 12:24-26

Many parents might look at their job as watering the planted word of God. Perhaps they consider the pastors and directors, the volunteers and teen workers at church to be the planters of the seed of God’s word.

I believe that some parents have Jack and the Beanstalk mentality. Sunday, Wednesday, and VBS+ Youth trips  then voila!…A fully matured fully devoted Christ-follower by age 18.

This is not the case.

Our job concerning tending the soil of our children’s hearts is an utmost priority. The church helps water the seeds we plant but we are charged with the task of cultivating the soil, planting the seed (on a daily basis), and ensuring that “weeds” (e.g. ways of the world) do not kill our crops.

Christ will make sure that the seed grows and matures. He has commanded us to tend it. Families and the church are the team God uses to do His work in the lives of our children.

  I planted,  Apollos watered,  but God gave the growth. 7 So  neither he who plants nor he who waters is anything, but only God who gives the growth. 8 He who plants and he who waters are one, and each  will receive his wages according to his labor. 9 For we are  God’s fellow workers. You are God’s field,  God’s building. ~1 Corinthians 3:6-9

4 “Hear, O Israel:  The Lord our God, the Lord is one.[b] 5 You  shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. 6 And  these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. 7 You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise. 8 You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. 9 You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates. ~Deuteronomy 6:4-9

We as parents read the word of God to our children and our lives are the Bible they first experience. How we live conveys what we believe concerning the Bible, God’s grace, and the importance of living in obedience to His commands.

Noone and no family is perfect. Even in our imperfections the Lord chooses to redeem the souls of our children. Amen!

Last Wednesday Emily graduated from her first year as a Cubbie Bear in the Awana Program. She excitedly dressed for the final awards ceremony in a Sunday dress, Princess Aurora clip-on earrings, and a glitzy heart necklace. She and her fellow Cubbie Bear’s ecstatically received their awards complete with a painted glove conveying the gospel message.

Each week the Cubbies had been taught the corresponding verses with the gloves and they cherished their own glove awarded to them as if you had given them keys to their first car.

Thank you Ms. Diane, Ms. Melissa, and all the Cubbie leaders for watering the seedlings in your care each week. Our Cubbie Bear loved it!

Grandmom was one of Emily’s room leaders in Cubbie’s. Emily knew Grandmom would be there with a piece of gum to accompany each class.

  Next year Joshua will start Puggles. For now he is happy being the Lone Ranger… or Lighting Maqueen.

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A Bittersweet Mother’s Day

14 May
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This Mother’s Day was bittersweet. Last week brought much heartache to family and friends through the loss of two beautiful women. One a grandmother the other a young mother. As my heart aches for the families grieving I pray for answers to questions and new challenges that these womens’ absence brings.

The pain of death is surely felt by the undeparted.

On Sunday, I was reminded that God is a parent that outlived His son. God the Father did not spare His own son, but gave Jesus as a sacrifice for our sins. We cannot rush through this fact: God. sent. His. son. to. die.

As a result of Jesus rising from the dead He is restored to not only the Father, but to all mankind as well. Further, those who place their faith in the cleansing blood of Christ Jesus will be reunited with family and friends in heaven who are of the same conviction and belief.

Bible verses preached at the grieving absent the Holy Spirit seem dull and lifeless. However, with the Holy Spirit, God’s living word soothes our anxious grief-stricken souls. If even moment by moment. God’s well of mercy has not run dry nor shall it til Christ returns. He promises He will comfort us; both parent and child.

When a child dies before his or her parent, or when a child looses their parent, the Trinity is familiar with this pain and will  give us all that is needed to walk through our tragedy and loss (Romans 8:32). If Mother’s Day was a day of grief for you this year due to the loss of a mother or child I pray God’s peace and blessing on your soul. May the God of all comfort comfort you in your time of need (2 Corinthians 1:3-5). Those who mourn shall indeed be comforted (Matthew 5:4) both in this life and in eternity. Harder days may lie ahead but you never walk alone.

Home is indeed a place called heaven. Perhaps you are more anxious to arrive now that you know more familiar faces await you…He has already wiped away your loved one’s tears.

Photo by my friend Hannah F.

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Hunger Games

9 May

“How many of you have read The Hunger Games?” About 20% of over 100 middle school students in our ministry raise their hand. Ron questions further, “How many of you have seen the movie?” Ninety percent or more of the students raise their hand.

At this point I am so glad that I purchased the book at Wal-Mart. What movement or story could engross a generation like the Hunger Games appears to?

A very well written story packed with action, romance, and a girl on fire. That is the story that has captured the attention of our young people and adults both men and women alike.

Once I read chapter five in the first book in the Hunger Games series I was hooked. I completed all three books in roughly six days and have contemplated the story line for a few weeks more.

image via Google images

Written by Suzanne Collins and targeted for young adults ages 12 and up, the topics covered in the books range from youth murder in a survival of the fittest scenario, politics/government rule, death, suicide, reality television, and the list goes on.

I originally read the first book, Hunger Games, to be culturally relevant.  However, the second and third books: Catching Fire and Mockingjay were read due to absolute takeover of my psyche. I was both unable and unwilling to put these books down. When I did return to everyday tasks, my thoughts continued to return to the country and events of Panema.

Here is a link to a video interview conducted after the release of the first book, The Hunger Games, by Scholastic Books. Especially intriguing was the origination of the idea for the plot of the book. Scholastic Books 2008 interview with Suzanne Collins bestselling author of the Hunger Games Triliogy

Additionally, in the case that you are the parent of a middle school student or a young adult reader yourself, I am listing 8 discussion questions that I hope you will utilize to critically digest this well written series through the lens of a Christian worldview. A special thanks to Ron for his co-collaboration on these questions.

Oh, by the way, go team Peeta!

1. Why are we attracted to the make-believe?

2. What’s our fascination with watching people die through the centuries? (E.g. Gladiators in the Roman Empire.)

3. Is entertainment one of the things that blind us from our life’s purposes? Further, is entertainment one of Satan’s most effective tools to distract us? Is the most effective tool Satan has in his arsenal against Christians today – a distraction?

4. In the book and movie, Peeta says, “I don’t want them to change me in there. Turn me into something that I’m not. I’m sure I’ll kill just like everyone else…only I keep wishing I could think of a way to…to show the Capitol they don’t own me, that I’m more than just a piece in their Games. If I’m going to die, I want to still be me.” Are we guilty of allowing our culture to change us? If so, in what ways has it changed you? For good or for ill?

5. What happens when the law of the land contradicts the Bible? See Romans 13:1-7, Luke 20:25, and Acts 5:27-29.

6. No religion or belief in any higher being is mentioned in either the books or movie. Why do you think this is? Which worldview says that man is the ultimate being?

7.  Choose one or two characters and list character strengths and weaknesses. What would you like to emulate in your own life that lines up with Biblical practices? What characteristics of even your favorite characters were flawed?

8. Throughout each book, Katniss is treated by a prep team which makes her look her best. In the first book Katniss is to the point where she does not mind her stylist seeing her naked body. Conversely, she does not feel comfortable seeing Peeta’s body when she is treating his wounds during the games. What is your modesty level? How has the media and what you set before your eyes on a television screen and in places you visit affected the way you approach varying levels of modesty or the lack thereof? What does the Bible have to say about purity and the clothes we wear?

If you have read or seen the Hunger Games, what was your take away and overall impression?

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Good Friday Not Good People

6 Apr

So when Pilate saw that he was gaining nothing, but rather that a riot was beginning, he took water and washed his hands before the crowd, saying, “I am innocent of this man’s blood; see to it yourselves.” And all the people answered, “His blood be on us and on our children!” then he released for them Barabbas, and having scourged Jesus, delivered him to be crucified.

~ Matthew 27:24-26

Many people believe that they are “good people.” Failing to compare ourselves to God, we can always find someone worse than us.  One elderly lady I witnessed to last year said that she doesn’t do bad things “like those politicians.”

Like Pilate, we wash our hands of Jesus blood when our pride says, “I have not sinned, I am a good person.”

for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and are justified by his grace as a gift, through the redemption that is in Christ Jesus

~Romans 3:23-24

Jesus did not drink the cup of God’s wrath for good people. Rather, when sin entered the world through Eve and Adam eating of the fruit of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, good people ceased to exist. All people thereafter became fallen, sinful, lost people separated from their Creator by our sin nature. Christ drank the cup of God’s wrath against sin so that fellowship between God and man could be restored for eternity.

Christ’s sacrifice is not a blanket forgiveness for all people. His blood sacrifice provides forgiveness of sins for those who repent, turn from their sin in confession and action, and believe on Christ Jesus for salvation.

If you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. For with the heart one believes and is justified, and with the mouth one confesses and is saved. ~Romans 10:9-10

We continually strive to teach the children scriptural truths. A few weeks ago Ron talked to Emily about her sin nature. He explained that we all have a sin nature that is contrary to God. Since that time we have used teachable moments when Emily wants to disobey to reinforce this teaching on the sin nature versus following in obedience to God’s commands.

Earlier this week Emily asked if we would cry in heaven. I told her God will wipe away every tear. At this point I do not know if there will be ongoing wiping of the tears for eternity or a one time event. Next she asked what would happen if she disobeyed in heaven. Insightful questions indeed! I said those who believe on Jesus as their savior will live in heaven and upon earthly death will loose their sin nature. In heaven we will not have a sin nature at all. Praise Jesus! Emily’s face lit up and her mouth and eyes widened in surprise. She replied, “How will He take it out? How will He get it out of our stomachs?”

The priests and onlookers shouted out that Christ’s blood be on them and on their children. However, His blood is on each of our hands as we have all sinned against God.

Praise the Lord Jesus Sunday comes after Good Friday. Let us ponder today the cross and crucifixion of Christ and praise Him for His substitutionary sacrifice on our behalf.

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The Unseen Soccer Mom

26 Mar

I pass moms that look similar to me frequently.

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Dunkin Donuts coffee. Check.

Two or more car seats. Check.

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One of two styles going on: 1. Workout soccer mom. 2. I am trying to accessorize with earrings and matching clothes soccer mom.  Check. Check.

Smiling while dragging assisting one child and carrying the other one on your hip. Check. (This is only a portion of the time. Often they are running ahead of me in the grassy or carpeted portions of the landscape or sweetly holding hands. Check.)

Watching as the kids run into daddy’s arms and welcome him home while finishing up that one last thing.Then welcoming him with a hug and kiss (assuming I am not at the breaking point). Check.

What about all of the unseen moments of a mom? Are the private moments and mutterings identifiable?

Last week while parking at Target I was listening to Moody Bible Radio and heard a preacher say something along the lines of the following.

Women size one another up upon first meeting. They quickly look at one another and determine many things about one another including will she be a threat to my husband? Will she threaten my social standing in a group?

In other words, is this woman superior to me in some way and ultimately is she a threat?

Oh my, that takes soccer mom to a whole new level! The pastor preaching said that he knows this happens because many women have told him.

Can you identify with these statements?

My answer is a resounding YES!

Yikes! That scenario spelled out puts many feelings in perspective. I can attest this happens in my mind instantly without seeking to do so nor being cognizant that it is happening.

This is a result of sin entering a perfectly ordered world. Pride and insecurity at their worst.

When I look at moms that are similar to me on the outside I wonder the likeness of the unseen portions of their days.

Did they have their time in God’s word this morning? Do they know Jesus at all? If they do not know Jesus how on earth are they processing all the demands of marriage, family, and perhaps career? What is on their minds, to do lists, bucket lists?

What insecurities tease them? What temptations are they struggling with? Do they know they are beautiful and loved?

I am really not a soccer mom. My daughter takes dance and my son has not begun organized sports. However, I am a mom and I understand the world and the Bible are two different pulls on our lives. I know that authentic encouraging relationships between women are hard to develop. I am so thankful for women that God is placing in my path that are reaching out to me.

Can I honestly say that being a (youth) pastor’s wife somewhat makes relationships even harder? Is that ok confess? I hope so.

Whether we size one another up or not, we need each other. We need community among women that will encourage us on grande vanilla latte matching earring days and on homemade Foldger’s in my cup out the door to the gym days. It is how we proceed after the initial seconds of sizing each other up that will determine the flow of our relationships.

We need to be willing to communicate some of the unseen soccer mom at surface level so that in looking at one another we see more than coffee cups. We see souls searching for the same One. We see that we are really not all that different. We see a sister.

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Restoration Projects

19 Mar

When winds howl at 95 mph and storms rage, damage is inevitable. Lucky people may escape with mere brush to pick up. Others are left with gaping holes in their homes’ infrastructure or worse, no home at all.

Imagine if your hometown is declared a national disaster zone by the President of the United States.

News teams swarm in donned in their galoshes, rain-gear, and microphones in hand.  Everyone makes the assumption that the President will make a speech empathizing with the community, promising to send aid to restore what the hurricane destroyed, and recognizing with understanding some valuables cannot be replaced. “National aid is sure to come,” think all watching.

Consider their surprise when the President walks by the cameras and outstretched microphones and boards Air Force One with a wave and a smile. He leans over to his press secretary instructing him to tell the people they can attend his next press conference. “I want to put this disaster behind us and forget it ever happened.”

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What? Forget 95 mph winds blew through and crushed everything in their path? “Come on”, you think, “I am not the President, but even I know it is impossible to act as though this hurricane never happened.”

It is the same way in our lives when families have a blow up of any size. Regardless of who started or finished the argument. It is impossible to merely sweep hurts and memories under the rug and avoid restorative reconciliation.

Yes, forgiveness on our part, even unsought forgiveness, is necessary. However, merely pretending a hurricane never happened is impossible.

While denial may be the best option for our pride, it is not the way of our Father and it does not restore health to the relationship.

Matthew 5:21-26 and Matthew 18:15-35 have much to say regarding anger, repentance, and forgiveness among brothers and believers. I am still sorting them out.

Consider with me that every good and even questionable mother teaches her young children to say “I’m sorry.” Our children are instructed to say, “I’m sorry. Will you forgive me?” To which the other should reply, “Yes, I forgive you.”

If children can kiss and make up, why not grown adults?

How can we ask our children to do what we are not willing to do ourselves?

I know what it feels to be an angry bird. I have a black belt buried in my back yard as a coercion ninja. Yet, I also recall this:

Put on then, as  God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved,  compassionate hearts,  kindness,  humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and,  if one has a complaint against another,  forgiving each other;  as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. And above all these put on  love, which  binds everything together in  perfect harmony. ~Colossians 3:12-14

God is in the restoration business. He takes our failures, our sins, and when laid at the foot of the forgiving cross of Christ turns them into something redeemed. Something profitable. What needs restoration in your life? I am praying for restoration in mine.

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Classic Grass Is Greener

4 Mar

Cue the gasp and high pitched voice. “Look at the wood paneling on that…and it isn’t even a station wagon. Is that a Jeep?”

Enter, sideways glance and mocking voice, “You cannot be serious.”

Those were the words between my husband and I Sunday afternoon.

I have a confession…I like wood panelled station wagons.

I know it may sound strange, but I sincerely would like to drive a station wagon.

Truthfully, I am saying this before ever test driving a station wagon with its’ “baby got back” extended cab. Perhaps after actually driving a station wagon, it would lose its’ affinity.

This jeep certainly lost its’ affinity for me once I drove up to take a closer look.

Vintage is vintage for a reason.

The paint seemed to be wearing thin in certain areas. The leather cracking. The old car smell was probably profuse as well.

I decided this was a classic example of the old adage, “The grass is not always greener on the other side.”

Growing up, my youth pastor would say, “If the grass is greener then you can’t see the manure piles from here or it has to be AstroTurf.” Similarly a friend says, “If someone else’s grass looks greener then take the time to water yours.”

Let us put on our spiritual lenses and apply these snippets to our current mental thoughts.

Perhaps we have been “green with envy” in some personal areas be it car, house, job, clothes, body, spouse, kids, you name it. If we knew what it cost to have what someone else has, or the reality of what we supposedly see then we might too say the grass isn’t always greener on the other side.

Instead, we might see the faded paint, ripped leather, and smell the old car smell as it really is.

What about you? Do you have a classic case of “the grass is greener?”

Also, am I the only one with station wagon love? I sincerely hope not.

 

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Truth Hits the Spot

8 Feb

My choices reveal more of the inner woman than I usually care to decipher.

Meditating on the motive behind my desires or frustrations with self and in relationships may become a new practice. This is necessary because, don’t all troubles really start with some stronghold that needs to be overcome?

It was for me on Sunday morning. Emily was ready wearing the dress of her choice and with her hair combed in the most obedient fashion… or at least that is what I am presently recalling. As I was gathering all the necessities for church I noticed that Emily had chosen her worn play-clothes flip flops as the final accoutrement.

I did what any caught in the temporal mother would do,”Emily, are you sure you want to wear your play shoes instead of your nice flip flops to church?”

I had planted the seed of doubt and want without thinking of the consequences to my daughter’s view of how a woman should adorn herself.

Do not let your adorning be external– the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear– but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God’s sight is very precious.
1 Peter 3:3-4
I then reaped what I sowed, a beautiful little girl standing her ground in her choice. That is… until… it was time to buckle-up. Then, she wanted to wear her beautiful new Yellow Box flip flops!
Already hopelessly upset over such a trivial matter I gave way to the crying and whining and muttered unnecessary words while retrieving the more desirable flip flops.
It was the picture perfect start to Sunday worship of our Creator in packaging alone.
Amidst worship and soul-searching, I remembered a valuable nugget, it is not about the condition of our clothes, but the condition of our heart before God. I humbly expressed this truth to my daughter and prayed that I will choose more wisely the next time.
Sometimes a difficult and challenging experience ushers in the teachable point we so desperately need to grasp. Like a well timed refreshment to my soul, this truth hit the spot.
Another well-timed refreshment? So glad you asked. Our visit with Nana and “Do Daddy,” upon which we visited the local Yogurt Spot for a Sunday afternoon treat Yellow Box flip flops and all!
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A Canvas of Thoughtfulness

31 Jan

Our days are fleeting like a blank canvas soon full with the artist’s desire.

One moment fresh and new we enter the world, and a few breaths later the Gallery Cathedral of the Great I Am.

It is silly for me to even think I have a sense of measured control in life.

I have control over my responses to events and the pursuits that I so choose. However, so much else is much like grasping water in my hand; impossible to control.

Laying in bed last night this thought struck me, “I cannot control my death.” Startling is it not? I sometimes fool myself into thinking I am assured of my next breath.

The last two days with the children have been as ideal as it gets with this mama’s limited patience combined with that of a two and four year old.

In the surprise moments of revealing in God’s created world, thankfulness for gifts each morning have been so sweet.

As the brush holds midair awaiting it’s next stroke, I pause to tell God thank you for this moment and this moment and this moment.

Then the next moment, when I forget and hasten to sigh, roll my eyes, clench my fists, and demand my own way.

The brush strokes black.

Next movement, the ultimate Artist’s Son’s blood washes it clean in the cup of everlasting life and brushes a vibrant color onto this canvas in it’s place.

So thankful that the Gallery awaits wretched sinners turned saints like me. Thankful for His brushstrokes. Thankful that I have this family painted on.

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