The Unseen Soccer Mom

I pass moms that look similar to me frequently.


Dunkin Donuts coffee. Check.

Two or more car seats. Check.


One of two styles going on: 1. Workout soccer mom. 2. I am trying to accessorize with earrings and matching clothes soccer mom.  Check. Check.

Smiling while dragging assisting one child and carrying the other one on your hip. Check. (This is only a portion of the time. Often they are running ahead of me in the grassy or carpeted portions of the landscape or sweetly holding hands. Check.)

Watching as the kids run into daddy’s arms and welcome him home while finishing up that one last thing.Then welcoming him with a hug and kiss (assuming I am not at the breaking point). Check.

What about all of the unseen moments of a mom? Are the private moments and mutterings identifiable?

Last week while parking at Target I was listening to Moody Bible Radio and heard a preacher say something along the lines of the following.

Women size one another up upon first meeting. They quickly look at one another and determine many things about one another including will she be a threat to my husband? Will she threaten my social standing in a group?

In other words, is this woman superior to me in some way and ultimately is she a threat?

Oh my, that takes soccer mom to a whole new level! The pastor preaching said that he knows this happens because many women have told him.

Can you identify with these statements?

My answer is a resounding YES!

Yikes! That scenario spelled out puts many feelings in perspective. I can attest this happens in my mind instantly without seeking to do so nor being cognizant that it is happening.

This is a result of sin entering a perfectly ordered world. Pride and insecurity at their worst.

When I look at moms that are similar to me on the outside I wonder the likeness of the unseen portions of their days.

Did they have their time in God’s word this morning? Do they know Jesus at all? If they do not know Jesus how on earth are they processing all the demands of marriage, family, and perhaps career? What is on their minds, to do lists, bucket lists?

What insecurities tease them? What temptations are they struggling with? Do they know they are beautiful and loved?

I am really not a soccer mom. My daughter takes dance and my son has not begun organized sports. However, I am a mom and I understand the world and the Bible are two different pulls on our lives. I know that authentic encouraging relationships between women are hard to develop. I am so thankful for women that God is placing in my path that are reaching out to me.

Can I honestly say that being a (youth) pastor’s wife somewhat makes relationships even harder? Is that ok confess? I hope so.

Whether we size one another up or not, we need each other. We need community among women that will encourage us on grande vanilla latte matching earring days and on homemade Foldger’s in my cup out the door to the gym days. It is how we proceed after the initial seconds of sizing each other up that will determine the flow of our relationships.

We need to be willing to communicate some of the unseen soccer mom at surface level so that in looking at one another we see more than coffee cups. We see souls searching for the same One. We see that we are really not all that different. We see a sister.

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  1. Hello Brooke! Stopping over from the Write It, Girl community. You’ve really put your finger on something important here. I once heard a retreat speaker say that you can’t tell the things that are most important about a person based on outward appearance. You can’t tell whether or not someone is having marital trouble, whether or not she has just received bad news from the doctor, or if she might be caring for an aging parent. We only learn these kinds of things about one another when we take the time to hear their stories.

    Good post.

    • Yes Nancy! I love it when others have taken the time to truly see what is going on in my life. I walk away challenged to do the same for the next person. Thank you so much for visiting from Write it Girl. 🙂

  2. We see a sister — YES! Appreciate your words here, your encouragement.
    From another pastor’s wife, yes, it’s okay to admit it & yes…it can be harder. 🙂

    grace in the journey.

    (stopping over from write it girl)

  3. I totally get what you are saying and couldn’t agree with you more. It resonates with what I’ve shared about today, too. Neat how God works that way!


    • Hi Lisa,
      LOVED your site, I will have to check out your post from today. I have downloaded many of your Bible studies to read and review for the girls in our ministry. What a blessing.
      Brooke 🙂

  4. Ok. You and I need to meet for coffee. TODAY. This post is awesome! My daughter played soccer last fall and is now in dance, and I had a friend who had a “LaFollette Soccer Mom” sticker personalized and stuck it on the back of my van window as a joke!! Kid. You. Not. It is funny how we “sum up” each other when we are so much more than our outside shows. Stopping in from Write It, Girl today 🙂
    PS: Also a pastor’s wife. Whew. Bless you sister 😉

    • Christie,
      I would love to grab coffee with you! And by the looks of your comment we would hit it off perfectly and have ample topics for discussion.
      Being a pastor’s wife is tricky in that I do believe God prepared me for this role, but even with preparation comes difficulties. Having a fellow pastor’s wife to talk the in’s and out’s over with would be ideal. Thanks so much for visiting and your encouragement! Can’t wait to hop over to your blog. 🙂

  5. As much as I try not to, I have to admit I do this. I know I shouldn’t and I know how I’ll feel if I decide I don’t measure up, and yet….well, you know. Great post. (Stopped over from Write It, Girl.)

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